a habit that has lasted for 9 years...

being in uniform groups for 9 whole years has made it's mark on me. boys brigade for 4 years, and NPCC for 5 years and counting... the whole idea of discipline during training has just been engraved onto my mind. having people standing around, talking and laughing loudly during volleyball training, while others are running around like mad hatters chasing after balls, just kind of gets on my nerves.

when people are having PT, and you say you are injured, is there any reason why one has to come around and make a hell lot of noise, and disturb people who are diligently doing the PT? stand in the centre of the circle, hope around, comment on how smelly we are, keep spinning and spinning, acting like the immature person that you really are? if you are fit enough to hope around and push other people down, you are fit enough to do PT. if you can still make so much noise and have enough energy to irritate the hell out of people, you are fit enough to do PT. basically i think you're just a slack shit who thinks that you, yourself, is better than us just because you have more experience. and that experience gives you the right to do whatever you want at training, even up to the point of not showing up!!!

this kind of arrogance won't get you very far, even if you are a very sociable person. the way sometimes you kind of "order" people around, do things to them just because they do something you don't like... thinking back i'm also wondering how i managed to endure all that before. now i remember that i had considered these points before... and kind of spat on them within myself lah, still wondering why i put up with them... what a fool i was.

maybe you're doing all this on purpose, just to bug the hell out of me. if it was this way, i feel sorry for you, yet again. but i'm not sure whether this kind of person deserves any of my sympathy. i actually haven't been pissed with you for quite a long time already, but you just gave me a whole new reason to be pissed.

maybe i myself need to let go of my uniform group self a bit, but it's so bad until no matter how much i let go, i'll still feel uncomfortable lah. i believe that if you want to do well in anything, you need discipline, and at the rate we are going, i don't see us doing well in anything at all! the track team is doing well now because their discipline level has increased. so is judo... a sport whose training at SJI requires a hell lot of discipline! so if we want to do well at all, we need to wake up lah basically, and stay focused during training. and of course... push yourself harder during training lah. you're injured... so what? a bit more exercise won't kill you damn it! instead of going "argh i'm injured" then proceed to hop around everyone else who is doing PT... felt like slapping you... ahhh shan't go there... cheers.

i've got great classmates!!!

i kind of realised that i need my sleep more now than ever. without sleep, i can't do alot of things. right now it even makes me... detached from people. after the last break today i went up to class, and just sat outside on the bench. after a while i lay down and fell fast asleep.

but that's not the main point of this entry. after physics tutorial, where miss eng asked me twice to wake up, and inquired as to why i was so tired, joshua came over gave me a whack on the back and just tried to wake me up lah. during break as i sat outside derek came along to accompany me, sure it was a bit noisy but i appreciate the fact that he came along. during the chinese period in LT 2, could tell that tini was trying to kind of help me stay awake, or at least help me feel better. really felt a bit better after all of it, albeit still a bit tired, but at least better. i'm damn fortunate lah... all the friends i have are good people. up to you to define "good" people, but i'm just fortunate. from HPPS to SJI to CJC... majority of the people i know are good people.

anywayz after school stayed back in the canteen with derek and louis to do some homework... managed to get some of it done, still got lots to do (as usual). came up with 1T19's new tagline... which goes "ohhhh my goodness..." hahaha it was damn funny the way we came up with it.

seems like i'll be pondering about a couple of decisions i made today. thinking about both why i did it... and the possible, won't say repercussions or consequences, but more like just outcomes. i hope nothing goes wrong in this area of my life again... but then again not sure if everyone is mature enough yet to have things like this going on around them without them spreading fallacies. oh well shall see how things turn out... cheers!

sick...

ok i WAS sick at first, but now i feel much better. felt like crap yesterday, couldn't get any work done at home just sat in front of the TV and stoned. went to bed at 10. woke up today and felt a bit better... but now i feel quite good lah. going to shower and sleep soon... i hope. i don't think the street soccer committee is working... should've given them a call a damn long time ago.

today stayed back in school... managed to finish both physics and maths homework! WOOHOO!!! only got econs left... and maybe GP, depending on whether fernandez wants to see it or not. but at least she knew i was at NPCC camp, cause brendan is in her class!!! hahaha thanks for that brendan! i wonder if she would've believed me if brendan was not in her class :p tomorrow morning got napfa 5 stations... don't forsee any big problems, except maybe situps because of my weak tailbone. afternoon got volleyball, but got to leave early for parade training. something big is on tomorrow, got that feeling because training starts at 2 instead of the normal 2.30. means there's half an hour for something important to happen... just wonder what it is. i doubt coach and both teachers-in-charge would come down half an hour earlier for no reason at all... so got a sense of anticipation now.

a feeling of anger welled up in me just now after school... shall ponder about why i had that feeling all of a sudden again. Cheers!

area 5 sec 3 ATC...

well it's over. it seemed rather quick... maybe because it was more than half a day shorter than the area 15 sec 2 ATC that i had in june. anyway their area is rather... different. in many aspects. ok wait... in ALL aspects. probably nothing they do is like area 15 style. everything just felt so different. even the sec 3s were kinda stunned on the first day. but at least they reacted to it fast, and still got things done.

on the first day the sec 3s came to look for us for their 40 pushups... glad that they took that initiative. the subsequent days they too looked for us, and we all did pushups together, to the displeasure of some area 5 people, but we still carried on with it.

actually got many... MANY thoughts about how the camp went, how the planning went, how the people work, but don't think i'll write it all down here. might not be too pleasant if some of them happen to chance upon it. but anyway the cooking competition went ok. always good to see that something you spend so much time doing turns out ok. the presentations made by the groups were impressive. ok some of them were... some others were just plain. but MOE would have been proud of these guys, creativity showed at least hahaha.

now got a runny nose and a bit of a sore throat. actually was coughing before i went to camp, had some phlagm already, but just went anyway. got homework to do, but it's all in school under my table along with my uniform from friday. hopefully it doesn't stink too much :p got NAPFA tomorrow as well. don't know how i'm going to survive that. glad tha my pullups are no longer a problem, but with my nose and throat like that my running might just become a chore. shall see how tomorrow. Cheers!

lots of stuff...

lots of interesting stuff has happened... and is going to happen. shall begin with the stuff that has happened, as many entries usually go.

on monday went back to SJI with a big bunch of josephians to promote CJ like they did last year. we were accompanied by Bro. Paul who gave his normal talk. we all entered the hall first, and just sat at the side in an oddly well arranged manner! hahaha it was quite interesting to see it actually, because we never discussed it, but we just somehow automatically sat in 3 rows along the side of the hall, stretching all the way to the back! it was quite "spectacular" in it's own sense. anyway after the talk, and mr liew mentioned the single-digit points of the speakers, could hear muttering from all over the place. the fact that there are 7 and 8 pointers in CJ seemed to shock and confuse the sec 4s, but i guess they have the right to be lah. this is the first time in 7 years that CJ has seen such a large cohort of SJI boys... approx. 120 in total! that's one-third of my batch last year!!! if you think about it, a large proportion of that number are 12 pointers and below. and of course that's what made bro. paul say this line... "we are a force to be reckoned with!" i find that quite true lah, since they seem quite determined to thrash SA this year and overtake them in rankings. oh well it was good to be back in SJI other than for reasons pertaining to NPCC. after the talk, the sea of blue stormed the teachers' room!! hahaha there was blue everywhere... the students were all confused as to why we were invading their school, but the teachers knew perfectly well why hahaha. anyway after that headed back to school for the rest of my lessons. got to miss 3 periods, but it was worth it!

aye i suddenly kind of forgot what i wanted to type... damn it! uhhh... well i practically slept through the whole of physics lecture yesterday, but i managed to learn one lesson! which is never ever sit in the back row again, as i'll just lean my head on the wall and fall straight asleep! hahaha today's volleyball was well... different. for one she wasn't there... secondly her normal bunch of friends weren't there! so i felt a strange sense of freedom, because heaven knows what she tells people... especially about people who she used to be close with, as past experience has shown.

CJ parade training was ALOT more productive today. although we started late as usual, but towards the end when teachers and v-principal showed up, everyone started working properly lah. sure there was the occasional laugh now and then, but that's alright. i think it just goes to show that we, even as student leaders in our own student organisation, can't be left alone and expect to be serious without someone of higher authority watching over us. felt quite frustrated at times lah, because some people just keep talking rubbish and wasting time lah. sure if you want to talk cock before training, and laugh your guts out that's fine, but then once training starts should at least get your head down to things lah. need to learn to be more serious when the time calls for it, and laugh like hell and make a hell lot of noise when necessary. actually the latter is not a problem lah... main thing is the former. oh yes... number 1 uniform causing me some headache. so in the end just decided to borrow ta hoong's and glenn's one hahaha like that don't need to draw extra!!! that's quite smart actually hahaha

PW period today was spent rather awkwardly... doing other groups surveys hahaha did surveys for tze wei's group, hui shan's group (happy hui shan???), some other group in her class also... was a very survey-ey day. i feel that some people need to wake up their idea lah. absolutely contributing NOTHING to the group, meeting time always disappearing, appear enthu in front of teacher only, when he's gone just *poof* gone with the wind... got chao slackers in many sides now...

friday got an econs and a physics test. but the problem is... friday after school going to ubin for sec 3 ATC with area 5. which means that i'll be packing my bag on thursday, and tucking in as early as possible. also got to stuff myself during recess on friday. looking forward to 6 hours of sleep throughout the whole camp again. here's another plan... bring my big black bag to school on friday... inside it my normal school stuff, and my normal school bag. and in my normal school bag my camping stuff hahaha. so after school will rush to change, leave school uniform and books in school, and run to ubin. so monday come back to school with no homework done, no revision done, and an extra uniform to bring home. ain't that grand... hahaha at least i'll have less things to bring to ubin, and less things to burn in the campfire if i get really stressed. the worst part is... monday is my NAPFA test!!! i don't see myself running my 2.4 at my best pace after walking around ubin for 3 days, sleeping 3 hours per day, and shouting/blasting at cadets. come to think of it... i don't think i'll be doing much blasting... leave that to the area 5 CIs hahaha afterall they're more tuned blasters than us. so my feet will just be numb lah, and i probably won't be able to wake up on monday morning.

hope that i can survive this weekend, and that nothing major goes wrong at the camp, especially during my cooking segment. hope AP training goes well tomorrow, won't be there as usual. brendan should have fun training those NAPFA failure... injecting them with some "NAPFA medicine" hahahaha, if you want to know what that is, just come ask me :)  back to uhhh... my normal life again... Cheers!

Renaissance XIV...
 
went to watch renaissance on saturday with some 409 people. it was damn good lah!!!  luckily i didn't go on the friday one because i heard it's standard was far from the saturday one. the beginning was a bit slower... so i dozed off at parts lah. but once the junior band came on, it just kept getting better and better. when the alumni band came on, we understandly made the most noise lah, because we knew the most people from there hahaha at certain times when the alumni was playing their songs... i felt an awkward feeling of peace. like nothing else mattered... not my studies, not npcc, not my social life, nothing. i just sat there and listened... felt so comfortable in the seat, the music floating by my ears... absolute peace. everything i thought about, didn't seem to matter at all. i felt no stress, no fatigue, no pressures of life. honestly i've never felt that kind of feeling before, i felt momentarily refreshed after that experience. only the SJIMB can do that... glad that i attended renaissance. will definitely go again next year... i missed too much of it when i was still in SJI, so making up for lost times. that feeling of peace is something that i would love to experience again...
 
sunday went to ubin recee. as always someone got injured, and this time it was yanru who got cut by the chain i think. anyway it was interesting, exploring the west side of ubin. heard a few more stories, saw a few more sights, went past the place where i had my ACE camp back in sec 2. boy that place has changed... metal fences all around, like one of those to prevent illegal immigrants from coming in. ubin is changing... modern stresses is beginning to show... the one remaining true island of singapore is beginning to lose it's uniqueness.
 
got home pretty late on both saturday and sunday, as such couldn't really get much work done. being chased for npcc stuff... school work is sort of piling up... and today i realised, that i'm reverting back to my old self. the quiet and reserved me. don't know if it's because i'm tired, i'm stressed, or it's just the way i'm meant to be. i was like this in primary school... shook it off in SJI, but now it's coming back again. if it's coming back again... most probably means that this is the way i'm meant to be! i still can talk to people that i'm closer to... but those that i'm not so close to, i just find it harder to communicate with them now. find myself seeking "refuge" with those people that i'm closer to... probably because i'm afraid of hurting people again, or afraid of being hurt. the feeling sucks... if you don't know it now, i can ensure you that you will feel it one day. it's part of growing up, but right now it's kind of striking me down. hammering my head into the ground, and i've got no energy to fight back. i don't want to hurt anymore people, and i don't want to be hurt. at least not within the next 1.5 years. it's just too much to juggle for me. having to be in the same class... it's just uncomfortable. having to see your face every single day, it's just something extra that i don't need at all right now. up till now i still don't know what happened, or how you felt... all i know is that you took a knife and stabbed me... sucked the blood out of me. even though i recovered... just having to see you over and over again sometimes makes me feel like retaliating, but i just can't. too many eyes watching from all different directions.
 
i guess i'm not exactly in a very mentally sound state right now... need to start work now, before i begin to break down. Cheers.
 

what shit???
 
got this mail from neo. kind of crude, but just try to laugh along with it!
 
>Memo to all students:
>To: All Students!
>
>In order to assure the highest levels of quality work
>and productivity from students, it will be our policy
>to keep all students well taught through our program
>of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
>
>We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than
>anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your
>share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your
>lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of
>the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially
>skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you
>can handle.
>
>Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed
>in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS
>(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
>
>Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously
>will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING
>(E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T.
>before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T.
>anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
>
>If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in
>a job teaching others. We can add your name to our
>BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
>
>For students who are intending to pursue a career in
>management andconsulting, we will refer you to the
>department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH
>EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
>emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
>
>If you have further questions, please direct them to
>our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
>(H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
>
>Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
>TEACHING
>(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
 
Cheers!!!
 

the all powerful letter...

when i got home the first thing i noticed was a letter with the words "Ministry of Defence" on the top right hand corner. since my dad's officially out of the army, so it was for me. it was kinda big, and about 4 pages thick. so i open it and it's telling me to go online to sign up for NS. and i thought "wtf?!!? i'm only half way through J1!!!" up till now i'm still a bit confused as to why they send out the thing 1.5 years in advance. maybe the government just wants to remind us to stay in singapore and don't run away. hahaha

in the morning had a dialogue session with the Chief of the RSN. nice big rank, a RAdm, same as our dear minister of defence. anyway, since he's from the navy, spoke about the threats from piracy and terrorism, i managed to stay awake for most of the time surprisingly.

went back to class after that for GP. ms fernandez said that everyone in class would minus 3 marks from their total GP score. bloody hell man... make me drop from 60 to 57!!! and you know what's the worst part? she said that some other classes would have marks ADDED to their papers!!! WTBMFH?!?!?! (go figure out what that means for yourself) so damn unfair loh... we minus 3 marks, and some buggers from other classes get to add marks? and we're like at the maximum already lah, since minusing 3 marks is as far as they can go. never heard of such moderation where the amount of marks moderated per class is different. what happened to the old-fashion across the board? another reason why i miss SJI days. also... at SJI, the NEVER minused marks!!! well that's probably because the papers are always too damn hard, so if they minus anymore marks they'd get like 20 to 30 more failures? hahaha screwed up system i'm living in...

if you'll are wondering about the picture above, it's thanks to shawn. i was actually cleaning my specs, and happened to see him aiming the camera at me, so i just gave a face hahaha as you can tell i sit right next to the door, perfect for quick getaways from class. if you notice the spiky hair on the left hand side, that's joshua's... can't be shufang or cheryl because... girls just don't spike their hair hahaha.

read from the official need for speed website that NFS Underground 2 has been released!! WOOHOO!!! now can install sound system in your cars, get special doors, and the best part is there are like 30 new cars or something like that? and you have to roam around town looking for races! just a bit like GTA III, except for the mess of guns and blood flying past your face every few seconds. looking forward to that one... even though i never managed to finish NFSU 1 hahaha just too difficult to get past that race 116 or something... can't remember the exact number. Cheers!

1! 2! 3! LAKER BOYS HUAH!!!

that's the line that kept running through my head today. in the morning had a performance by "The New American Singers". it's this new band that's touring all around the world, quite interesting i must say, although i think they were a bit disappointed with the audience (our) response though... kinda stoned.

after school went to quadrangle for CJ National Day Parade practise. it's bloody messy lah... don't know what's going on also. and now the band wants to join in, and it's already in this state. but at least the part with me marching in with flag is not so bad... just gotta work on the timing and the belok part coz holding a flag horizontally and turning isn't easy at all.

after that went to volleyball training like more than an hour late. damn parade thing ended so late. anyway when i got there coach was just spiking and spiking... and i joined the girls group coz the guys group had a nice round number hahaha but i guess it was lucky that i joined the girls group, coz they did less pushups than the guys group :p i think my spike receiving is improving... at least i hope it is. can get it right more often now. serving also getting better... ratio of getting the ball over the net is higher. now trying to get the ball as close to the net as possible. as for digging, getting better, rather good i think. slightly more accurate now. oh well if i'm not getting better, something is seriously wrong with me.

jialat, so late already haven't started on homework. guess i'll just do econs now, maths done most of it, physics i'll just do it tomorrow hopefully... back to the world of sadness and stress. Cheers.

the MEN'S rules...

girls always seem to have their own rules... so here's the guy's set of very own rules. if you notice they're all numbered 1... it's all for a reason

The Guys' Rules

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

i kind of like this... Cheers!!

and the results are as follows...

GP: 60 (2nd in class if i'm not wrong)
Chinese: 44... hopefully loa shi can find half more mark so that i can pass
Maths: 37 (O)
Physics: 36 (O)
Econs: 37 (O)

so overall i failed 4 out of 5 subjects... but i think it was a miracle that i passed GP lah, i mean all the tests so far all like shit like that, on the brink of failing that kind. got back compre first, got 30 while cheryl got 29.5. then at first for a few seconds i thought could win her lah, then i thought about the essays... suddenly i thought "no way i can beat her in essay!!!" hahaha it turned out to be true lah, she got 34 and i only got 30 for essay :p so overall she got 64, me got 60. oh yes speaking of cheryl, and shufang as well. these 2 girls sit next to me in class. cheryl next to me and shufang beyond her, we 3 sit in a row lah. first shu fang... 1st for physics and econs. cheryl... 1st for physics, maths and GP. then comes me... marcus... failed 4 subjects. see the distinct difference?!?!?!!??!! haiz... sit next to 2 such pro ppl... i feel so small. those in my class will see the pun there...

and now it's like i need to study like a hell lot just to get promoted, but got so much npcc stuff to do also. volleyball isn't exactly a problem anymore lah only 2 days a week for a few hours at each time, not taking up a large proportion of my time. main 2 things are npcc and studies... just told my mum about camp at ubin from 3 - 5 september, and the first thing she said was "can you don't go?" so obviously she wants me to study lah!!! how like that?!!? want to go... but then if i tell her my mid year results she might just refuse to let me go lah!!! ARGH!!! then when i need to stay up to do... i know i won't survive for long lah... my body and mind can't survive without sleep one. so i can't stay up long to do!!! if i had to do npcc full time as a CI i won't mind lah, but with studies in the picture it just makes it a hell lot harder... now i'm wondering why i'm not in poly again. actually to be honest i didn't expect to get so much load of admin work, coz obviously i didn't expect this huge revamp, but then now that it's here, i'm seriously having problems lah. admin work isn't my cup of tea... or coffee, or milo, or whatever beverage you can think of!

speaking of beverage... that reminds me of mass PE, coz it made me so damn thirsty. just the list of stuff that we did:

1. run 3 rounds around the school (approx 2.64 km)
2. 22 diamond, 22 spider, 22 normal pushups
3. 40 situps, 20 crunches, 20 leg raises, 20 reverse crunches
3. 15 x 8 jumping jack
4. 20 x 4 burpees
5. 20 tuck jumps
6. 10 star jumps

i think that's all if i'm not wrong. then after that we split up for specialist training. pullups, 2.4 and broad jump. i went for broad jump. basically it involved jumping up the grandstand for like 10 times. sometimes single step, sometimes double step. if only SJI had grandstands... could accomplish alot more then, especially with the small little cadets. oh yes on top of all this i did 50 pushups near the end of the day, as i made a bet with joshua that he would win me for maths. so i lost lah, so did 50 pushups in class. after that volleyball training did more running when i was chasing high-flying-out-of-control balls than compared to when i was actually training! then during training had to squat to receive spikes lah, so thighs now kind of stiff... and sore. arms... might hurt a bit tomorrow lah, but not as much as my legs. hoping to get silver for my NAPFA this year... that would be one less worry on my back.

oh well off to try and salvage my deteriorating situation... Cheers!

belated youth day to CJC...

had youth days celebrations at school today. it was uhhh... interesting i guess. right at the beginning had student council investiture. donovan and ben chen got vice pres for their respective departments, and the new president is the ex-head prefect of IJ TP. well too bad ex-SJI head prefect isn't in CJ hahaha. this year it seems that the council is bigger than the previous year's, probably because our batch is alot bigger than their lah.

after that there were 3 performances. 1st one was a latin dance by all the new teachers. quite well done... surprised they could remember the whole thing. but it was a nice show. after that was a solo by mr issac lim. damn good performance man! never seen anything like it before to be very honest. one of a kind performance for a one of a kind man. after that the final show, wah really damn zhai loh!!! all the teachers were brought back to the olden days... and had all kinds of costumes and stuff. must really have been stuff from their youth. the best of still mr leong... he wore an SJI uniform... and pulled his pants really high lah! then wore specs and carried books... looked really damn nerd sia hahaha but i wonder if that was really his uniform in the first place.

after that played vball for a while... can get my digging and spiking that right... still got lots to work on. finally the chinese oral came. didn't have to wait too long... the passage was ok i guess, not too much problems with that one. we managed to hear the conversation topic from the people who went up before me. so we kind of knew what was coming out lah, but then went it came to my turn... i just stuck around the point that it was important to have friends besides just success. that's all i was talking about loh. haiz... don't know how it's going to go.

tomorrow is going to be an interesting day... early morning go SJI for PT, then leave to CJ for listening compre, then back to SJI for rest of training. after that gotta go to st gabs for final ATC meeting. can't go jetty jump course because of that... damn! wanted to go for that course... oh well i guess can't now. my bag is going to be damn full tomorrow lah... wonder how i'm going to bring everything.

off to prepare uniform now... hopefully tomorrow is a good day. Cheers.

why am I in JC again???

got back econs and physics results today... and sort of got back maths as well. physics got 36 marks, which is an O. econs i know i got an O, but marks i don't know. maths... well i kind of deduced from what mr ho said. "... that is a 5 marks question, all marcus needs to pass." i'm just praying that his pass is an E and not an O, because if his pass is an O, means i'd have gotten an F, which is completely fucked up lah. ARGHHH!!! so i'll either get OOO or FOO... what the fuck am i doing!?!? was talking to wee koon in the canteen before chinese period, kind of drifted to the part of why we were in JC, having gotten back our shitty results. realised that, i'm in JC because my parents want me to be, while he's in JC because he wants to be, wonder how big a difference that makes. probably a psychological thing... actually i think my parents want me to be in JC because... it's 2 years, and they don't want me to spend another year in school which is what would happen if i went to poly. but i bet they didn't think about the part where i got retained, and still spent 3 years in JC did they! probably also family... because in my ENTIRE family... no one has gone to poly. all of them went to JC... majority of them did pretty well... As and Bs all over, nice looking report card. both my parents went to JC back in their times as well. even my sister told me at the end of last year not to go to poly. wonder how i would have done if i had gone to poly...

anywayz after i managed to finish my compo in school called ben and he said training was over already, so went straight to bang's house to study. kind of fell asleep for about an hour... but at least managed to go through a bit of econs. tomorrow CJ is celebrating youth day, so we'll end latest 11. but i've got to go back to school for chinese oral... haven't exactly spoken proper and fluent chinese in a long time, hopefully it goes ok.

don't know where i'm going with my results like that... either i've got to manage my time even more efficiently... or i've got to reduce my commitment to something. but what's there to reduce? academic? no way... that's my biggest headache now!!! npcc? not in a million years... although that's the thing taking up quite alot of time, but still no way. volleyball? if i reduce that i'm out of the team, which means i'll be CCA-less again!! i'm like facing problems from so many angles now... didn't have so many problems back in SJI man. miss SJI life, where you didn't exactly have to study so hard to get promoted. i even wrote 409 on my foolscap paper today for my chinese compo loh... wah lao after 6.5 months and i still can write 409... miss that life, miss that life where you used to have so much less problems, not just in one aspect, but almost every aspect. academic... physical... social... npcc... they all take time. JC... what a fucked up life. Cheers.

finally...

oh well chinese exam tomorrow... and then NE exam. don't believe shufang actually studied for that lah... mum sent her to the library to study. ultimate in sianness hahaha don't know how i'm going to study for chinese tomorrow man... watching euro later, then after that afternoon got meeting, then need to rush home for chinese tuition. maybe can ask her to go through the exam stuff... see how lah.

lessons are going to start on wednesday... well at least it's better than exams. back to normal life again, but i guess i'm like more or less used to it already. just that i can't play no more computer games all the way until like... the end of the year? coz by the time september comes, will be mugging for promos already. hopefully by then i can sorta mug O level style again. will that be too little too late? hopefully not... but considering my potential mid year results... it just might be ah!!! :(

somehow students in singapore are really lucky, coz youth day happens to be tomorrow, and so can stay up to watch euro finals tonight! hahaha i just hope i can wake up in time tomorrow for my meeting :( if not... i'm dead...

not really comfortable doing all these admin changes and stuff... i guess that's why i wasn't thrown into the admin department back in sec 4 hahaha really don't know what i'm doing sometimes. it's like i want to help here, but not over there... but i need to help over there, and they need my help over here... argh! damn it... i'm at a point of indecision again. crapz...

well on the bright side... i finally got some exercise in. well it's not really a full body exercise... coz badminton only requires 1 arm and 2 legs :p so my right arm feels like light now, and my forearm hurts. not playing for 1.5 months, and suddenly swinging so hard just isn't good hahaha come to think of it... my wrist hurts now. maybe it's just stiff coz i'm sitting in a freezing cold room with aircon and heaven-knows-what temperature... hahaha now it seems as if my wrist isn't painful, it's just numb. this is lame :p

pray that i can wake up tomorrow... i better! Cheers!

quiz... again...


Your soul is WILLFUL. You are determined and a
little reckless, and you do whatever you want
to do. You have strong opinions and are not
easily swayed, and your headstrong resolve is
not easily countered. You have few regrets.
People find your refusal to go down without a
fight formidable, and they respect you for it.
You are a proud and content soul.


What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla

as always some parts are rather true i guess... but certain parts i'm just not sure. characteristics that you yourself can't see, but others can. maybe because i don't want to see it? hmmm...

u see the mad electron??? hahaha don't take note of this people... just bugging someone :)