gotta get through this...

as you can tell from the new song i've put on my blog... i got to get through all this shit... promos, personal problems, well main problem is promos lah... but personal problems are kind of bugging me now and then. Cheers

CJ celebrates teachers' day 2004...

well teachers day has arrived again... first time in a new environment (for certain obvious reasons) first went to the hall to see a few performances... the dance club got quite a good response, because they always do the most exciting things, but this time around, the ICS overshadowed them lah!!! those guys damn good sia, i tell you i wanted to see it again. very well choreographed, and just very very cool, unlike dance club where there are too many people and the stage just becomes so cluttered. but the 5 guys in dance club did a little number by themselves with huge afro wigs on their heads.

after that went to grandstand for the "carnival". saw chiobu, cheryl and blackie perform. quite well done man... cheryl sounds so different when she's singing hahaha and weekoon actually introduced derek as blackie at the end of their performance lah!!! hahahaha damn funny... but too bad not the whole class was down to see the performance, were all slacking in class :p after that played some volleyball as part of the "competitions". we played against uhhh... 2T14 is it? can't really remember, but both mr kwee and mr low can play volleyball man!!! hahaha they're not bad, found out that mr low had secondary school experience, not sure about mr kwee though. during the warm up i tried a few spikes, f-ed up all of them, quite pissed with myself. luckily during the game there wasn't a chance for me to spike, if not sure ultimate man. need to get used to spiking during games, when things are going very quickly, and you just move when you have to. the reason why i screwed up is because of the way i jumped lah i think, didn't do what coach taught us, my feet were just fumbling around. the match ended 15-7, and the opposing team had mr liew on their side. when i saw him i was damn worried lah, because if he were to spike we'd be dead. when i served, it was a nice flight lah, and it would have been in if it was on the guy's court, but bloody hell it was just out. can't remember if there was wind when i served though, but i've never EVER hit a ball beyond the baseline before, so must have been the wind hahaha after a while found out that we could only play 1 game, due to lack of time. but that was my 1st so-called "competitive" match, and with classmates watching glad that we could win, albeit quite lucky coz the opposing class didn't have any school players. after that just dug around on the field, basically wasted time. oh and lina thought mr low was a student!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA looks like mr kwee has been replaced!!! poor mr kwee, don't worry we'll still remember you for your lameness. actually it's quite good lah, got a good mix coz mr kwee is more of the fun side, and mr low is more of the serious side. they're both good teachers, and they're both young as well! youngest male teachers in CJC man hahaha but i found out that mr low might not join us next year as he probably stay with J1, basically because he's new, which sucks lah!!! :( oh yeah... she spoke to me!!! hahaha suddenly don't feel so... weird? i don't know...

anyhow after that went down to PA to try and collect my rank. likewise as last time my name wasn't on the list that Ms Lee gave to them, but thank goodness the store lady was freer this time, and Mr Chng was there as well!!! hahaha he recognised me from my little episode with logistics during sec 2 ATC :) in the end i still managed to get my rank, and the weirdest thing is i only found out that my surname was typed wrongly on my cert there and then!!! wtf man!!! tai became tia... buggers... can't seem to get anything right! but who cares... i finally got it!!! hahaha after 2 months of submitting the form, and 1 month of getting the cert, and one failed attempt that pissed the hell out of me... I FINALLY GOT IT!!! just took it out to have a look on the bus, and i was reminded of why i was given this rank, and how meaningless it could be if i didn't put in any effort. a timely reminder i guess...

going for a jog later, and mug after dinner. got to finish that damn GP portfolio. heard it involves a hell lot of writing. hopefully i can finish it by tomorrow when i go to school to study. going to run in the morning too... haven't run in damn long lah. probably do some sprint laps, just to get the blood pumping in my legs again after my injury. Cheers!!!

i hope...

after hearing all the things that you are going through, i only have one ultimate wish for you, and that is for you to get well, so that you can lead a normal life. really hope that you can get well soon, so that i can spend more time with you... please lord help her... it's not fair for such a nice person to not be able to have a fulfilling life.

irritated...

friggin' irritated... they bring me out for dinner when i want to stay home and study, then when i want to play computer they tell me to go to sleep. fuck you lah!

bad habits...

last 2 night been screwing up my biological system. last night i was so tired that i fell asleep on the floor at about 9, then woke up at about 11, and dragged my ass off the ground, only to fall onto the bed which was directly next to the spot where i had previously layed. so i spent the whole night in my stinky ass t-shirt that i had worn from after volleyball training, with some sweat. so my bed now might stink a little bit... just pray not too much. woke up this morning to take my long awaited shower, and didn't manage to do a single bit of work in the end.

tonight, or yesterday morning whichever you prefer, spent about 2 hours plus on the floor again, sleeping in my school uniform. even as i type this i'm still in my school uniform damn it!!! anyway studied for 2 hours in the end, going to shower after this and hit the sack. 3 damn tests tomorrow, didn't study for maths, don't intend to... a thick stack to study for econs, just read through and refreshed my memory. physics... i hope i can do well :X

this so-called study habit better not become permanent, if not i won't survive for long, i know it.

long day ahead for me tomorrow... after school there's volleyball training, followed by atc meeting, which will probably end at around 10 again. saturday... also another long day, not sure whether my family dinner is still on or not, if it is then i can't go for area meeting.

i don't know what i'm doing anymore. in my heart i say stop, don't carry on, but my actions are the same as before... i don't want to get too close and friendly, but somehow i still am!!! :( my actions might be the cause of my downfall one day, eventually... in fact i think it has been one of the reasons why i f-ed up before!!! the trials of life are throwing me into an 'emotional prison', where i'm sort of stuck and confused, stuck as to how i should carry on with my life, the next move to take, with anticipation of what the future will throw at me, and confused with why on earth i do some of the things i do, and why i act the way i do.

cheers.

what makes life 100%???

ripped this off glenn's blog, can't help but agree with it...

~~~

If A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z =1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26

RESPECTIVELY,
THEN,
KNOWLEDGE= 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%
HARDWORK = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98%
ATTITUDE= 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5= 100%

BUT,

BULLSHIT= 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20= 103%

~~~

Cheers!

3 days...

saturday was our 5th inter-unit street soccer competition. this year we came in 2nd... again. lost to queensway in the finals. don't feel bad about losing to them at all because their game was just extremely fluid, with lots of communication. and they've got skill also lah, and when they shoot, they throw their whole body into the shot, which means that if they miss the ball, they would go flying hahaha the running of the comp was quite well done i must say, good job NCOs. but the preparation part left much to be desired. too messy, with some people doing alot, and some doing nothing. oh well it's quite well done being their only their 2nd major function. after the competition kicked long balls with jack, des, big red and kw for a while, felt good lah getting to volley long balls again... now i just want to kick more ball again, but not so competitively, just long passing will do, but not alot of people are willing to do that, so a wall will be my best soccer friend hahaha

yesterday was recce again... that would be like the 4th recce this year, didn't go for the area 5 one if not it would make it 5 hahaha was late at queenstown, but big red was even later!! hahaha realised i didn't have money, but found out later that brendan actually owed me 10 bucks, so i was safe :p met jocelyn and raudah at jetty, and kai yong at ubin. all went kayaking. was walking for most of the recce, only used the bike to accompany jie long to get lunch from the village. new experience cycling with a load on one side of the bicycle. cycling on ubin is fun man, if you know where you're going that is hahaha so we walked and walked and walked, talk lots of cock on the way, damn funny stuff!

today went to SAFTI for an OCS "tour" kind of thingy. the beginning was interesting lah, with the videos in the officer cadet mess. after that with the walking and stuff, just got a bit draggy. oh yeah met bert (SJI NPCC SI 2002) as well, and daniel (SJI head prefect 2002). and this other sji guy, looked kind of familiar, but didn't know his name. daniel pointed him out to me. one part they kind of showed us BSS, with how to make a fireplace, and traps for birds and monitor lizards. they even killed a live quill for us, by literally yanking off it's head!!! it was fast i guess, but yanking needs strength lah. then after that he actually showed us the intestines, and pointed out the gall bladder to us saying that once we burst that, the bird would be inedible mainly because it would stink like... shit literally hahaha reached back at CJ at 6.45, alot later than expected, fell asleep on the bus on the way back, and nearly fell off the chair damn it!!! luckily i managed to save myself, but i know i had already leaned to the side a great deal before i pushed myself back.

time to catch up on homework again, didn't manage to do any the whole weekend, but managed to do some well... re-evaluation of sorts. need to clear my mind, think through things carefully now lah, before i screw up my life all over again... hmm getting late time to shower and tuck in. Cheers!

the week goes by...

that was damn fast lah!!! don't know why also... time is whizzing by yet again :( anywayz, wednesday PE period played volleyball, a short one for single period only. not exactly very productive lah because some people don't know how to play, so use one arm and eventually send the ball flying way out of the court. after school at volleyball training, kinda screwed up lah. during rallies, my knees are perpetually bent at 90 degrees all the time lah, then when coach hits the ball to me, my legs don't seem to move!!! haiz... at the end of training did 8 sets of 20 squats and 1 grandstand, and 200 of the wrist thingy. wrist one was no problem, all thanks to twinkle stars during me npcc days hahaha

thursday, my legs weren't aching from the leg exercises, but derek's were, and i think clarrisa's were as well, seeing as how she climbed the stairs. looks like hentak kaki helps the thighs eh? hahaha good training lah... thursday wasn't that eventful i guess, just that stayed back to do PW report again. added 500 words while in school, through editing and linking up ideas, and just adding in some new stuff as discussed with the group. then last night, came back home added in another 500 words, so final word count stood at 2155. felt quite good that i managed to write out so much crap on a topic that i'm not that familiar with hahaha

today... quite interesting lah. morning went to run 10 rounds, felt quite good except after that i felt like puking, but thankfully i didn't. after that throughout the whole day, PW groups were in class with laptops, all gathering at the back typing furiously... while my group didn't get a laptop, so we had nothing to do hahaha our report was done solely on the computers outside the library, quite interesting really :) today's 2 lectures were interesting because... i got kind of high stealing shu fang's stuff. 1st when she came into econs lecture, she sat in the row behind me and messed up my hair... so i stole her shoe! took me about 3 tries, as legs are stronger than arms. but i did it hahaha. after that she used her shoeless foot to kick me a few times, and before i knew it i had her sock in my hand as well! hahaha vignesh helped me steal her wallet, so i shoved her sock and wallet into her shoe, didn't dare to put my hand to my face :p at maths lecture, stole 4 of her markers, her stapler, her nametag and her pencil... twice! had to return it to her lah because she needed it to take notes hahaha poor cheryl everytime i stole sf's pencil she took cheryl's :p returned everything to her eventually except her wallet, then tini had to go take it from me while i was doing my practical and return it to her! ggrrrrr.....

tomorrow there's street soccer comp at sji, hopefully it all goes well, since didn't manage to spend much time with them doing the planning and all, due to my friggin' tight schedule!!! haiz... this weekend don't have much time for work either, and since i don't have to prepare my uniform, i shall now proceed to do some differentiation tutorials!! since that's the most outstanding thing right now... i think... hahaha

been doing some thinking again, ok make that plenty of thinking. sorting stuff out better now, making my mind clearer, and it looks like my exercise regime at night is working :) so in some ways life is getting a BIT better for me. Cheers!

was that necessary???

i know you have high expectations of me, many people have high expectations of me, and i know that it is my job to try my best to live up to these expectations, but when i don't meet up with that level which you have set for me, must you announce it to the WHOLE FRIGGIN' CLASS?!?!?! just a thought... Cheers.

the weekend...

yesterday woke up at 5.45, and left the house at 6.20, just to go to NYP for an econs seminar. got there early, used a porta-loo for the first time (it's horrible!!!), and explored the area around the station for a food place with xuan rui. derek came along and he needed to relieve himself big time, so both of us left for NYP first while xr waited for my my. the seminar was... ok i guess. but the 2nd speaker was so damn boring, i kept falling asleep. the first speaker was quite entertaining, so only fell asleep at one point for like a split second or 2. scribbled like mad for the airline one, unfortunately they got an SIA marketing guy to come and talk, which meant that it was damn biased lah!!! oh well at least we got some information that i think would be rather useful for the damned PW...

on the train back home brendan called me and said that big red was down with flu, so i had to go down to SJI to train them HK and aaron for drill competition. met sf, hs and cheryl during their judo training again... cheryl was scolding me because my HO was pumping the 2 guys :X i was just standing beside them and she told me off hahaha it was quite funny lah... oh and i had my wooden rifle with me! so when sf came down after training wanted to do the hormat president thingy again, but didn't in the end lah coz sf, cheryl and one of their friends (still don't know her name up till now) chased me away. plus it would have been quite malu to do it by myself lah, need a koala around to accompany me when i do that kind of thing... so after about 2 hours of drill, i finally came home. fell asleep in the car almost instantly! point to note: never EVER go to tanglin cafe ever again... the food there is bloody expensive now!!! damn why did they have to change owner... the previous owner was so much better :(

back at home got blasted by the mother for spending too much time on the computer and npcc work... instead of getting down to work for promos. next weekend probably going to get scolded again, coz saturday got street soccer competition, which will last for whole day, and sunday there's recee again, which means almost zero time for work... shit...

funny feelings coming back to haunt me again... luckily i got the koala around to help me! :) Cheers!

too busy for it???

was supposed to see my officer today after school, but i had to stay back to finish my chinese compo, and when i called him he said that he wanted to kill me :p supposed to see him tomorrow as an alternative but i just realised that i've got volleyball training tomorrow! can't see him on saturday as i've got an econs seminar to go for in the morning, and he's bringing some of our guys to queensway for a sepak takraw competition. every thursday when there's training, i end school at 4.30, which means that i'm unable to go for unit training! i want to help her... but i'm so friggin' busy that i end up not helping at all!! maybe even slowing her down!!! damn it... among the 3 of us, i practically end the lastest on average throughout the week lah. so now can only go down on saturdays... sucks...

yesterday had a free period from PE, as i got my NAPFA gold!! hahaha :) so just went to gym to do some weights. hadn't done any since june of sec 3. kind of stopped after that... anywayz did some basic weights lah... but not too good, can't even do 10 kg dumbbells properly now :( right at the end of it all i cycled 5 km in about 7 minutes. my top speed was 61.2 km/h, and i maintained about 42km/h for majority of the "ride" felt quite good, but the weirdest part was that my legs and face was dry, and my arms were spouting sweat like no one's business!! in my last 400m sweat was dripping from my wrists lah... as all the sweat gathered there. it was like a flow that got faster and faster... quite scary. poor vignesh standing behind me got a splash of sweat when i swung my right arm backwards hahahai just kept wondering if there was something wrong with the pores on my arms or something :p

need to think over things more carefully now, don't want to make the same mistakes again, don't want to cause suffering to others because it's all to fast, but then if it's all too slow it also might cause suffering... haiz the troubles of friendships. anywayz i better go if i want to wake up tomorrow morning for my run. Cheers!

cool webbie...

check this out people... looks pretty real, except for the sound lah. but otherwise it's nice :)

http://megaweb.clubsnap.org/fireworks/

Cheers!

a gathering... and a celebration...

yesterday had an outing with ex-T20 people. well majority of them are still in CJ, cept' for mad, ching lee, si yuan. first went to shaw centre KFC, just ate, but our table was rather dead lah, considering got 2 quiet chaps like herge and me sitting there :p elaine looked damn sian lah, but understandable hahaha before that she spent like a whole 20 minutes on her handphone... don't know talking to who *ahem ahem*

after that went to play pool... spent like 4 hours in lucky plaza, and only $5!!! hahaha but i guess that's what happens when you've got a huge group of people. oh yes and ben's got this super cool hair cute man! short hair, but 3 converging lines at the back, and a deep short horizontal line on top of the centre line. wonder what will happen when he goes back to school tomorrow... hahaha will definitely get spotted during assembly man!!! following that headed down to marina bay for steamboat and to watch fireworks. well we got quite a good deal, 10 bucks per head with free transport from the MRT to the steamboat place. the place we got was quite ok lah, except that everytime xuan rui and tze wei stood up we couldn't see our food coz of their shadows :p so we kept telling them to sit down. while we were at the MRT, we saw the jets fly above us, and they had already begun to release the smoke. shortly after that was thinking that if war really came to Singapore, that level of noise would be heard like for the whole day damn it! just hope that day never comes aye? at about 8 the fireworks began. the view from marina is damn good man!!! i'm definitely going back next year again... just depends with who only lah.

so we ate and ate, and played zong zi mi ma, the number guessing game. one round ben had this damn weird idea of the loser climbing up the fence and singing the spiderman song. and guess what... ben got it!!! hahaha so he had to carry out his own idea :p i got it once lah, but it was only to finish 4 balls that were cooked. not bad though, don't have food poisoning or diarrhoea yet :) in order to get a bus to the MRT, we walked to 2 busstops before ours, just so that we could get a space on the bus. clarrisa, mad and si yuan took a cab back since they lived in the same area. it was so spontaneous that it made me wonder... hmmm... anywayz on the train, did some pullups, with herge and ching lee flipping around on the handles. thank goodness the bar didn't break, if not we'd be in for a hell of a good time. reached home at about 11.30? never been out that late for quite a while, call me a loser with no life... but i don't really don't have one lah!!! hahaha

realised that this year's NDP didn't receive as much hoohah as previous years... and that not many residences had hung up the national flag as compared to last year. came to the conclusion that they wanted to make this year less grand, to save up for next year, since next year is the big 40! probably going to be alot grander and spectacular next year... maybe even a longer fireworks display? that would be cool... this time next year would probably be the last break i get till after A levels, haiz the stresses of life. hopefully my parents allow me to go next year. got to mug friggin' hard just to go...

the outing made me wonder what it would have been like under different circumstances... even ben asked me about it damn it! but then again it's ben hahaha something else he said made me wonder, i quote "wah lao i've known you for 4 years, you are my respected SI how can you not tell me?" just thought for the moment... was i really respected by my squadmates last year? hmmm... i guess that's a question that i'll never know the answer to. just one of those for-them-to-know-and-for-you-to-find-out kind of questions hahaha

wish things could go back to the way they were... Cheers...

time slides along...

just updated my blog template with regards to my age... and another month has passed. we're all getting older... my youth is passing me by... and i'm stuck behind a pile of books. i'm at the physical prime of my life!!! but i still ain't using it well! i'm wasting it all away!!! (btw running around tekong isn't considered utilising my prime!) i want to do more! and after playing soccer with CIs today at barker... just made me realise it even more!!! i really ran like hell for the soccer today lah... never have i done that for so long!!! but yet i'm stuck in this educational system... i don't think i'm entirely wasting my time on earth, but i feel that i'm wasting my youthful, playful energy on this earth. i want to get out more, i want to experience nature more, i want to scare myself more, i want to push myself more. and all this does not include going to orchard road, and seeing how much longer i can shop for... so basically i want to enjoy my youth more, but with this pile of work in front of me, and a gang of soon-to-be pissed teachers running after me... that seems far from possible. can't wait for ATC again... want to get out of mainland, and to somewhere where i'm more "free". but then after that back to books again and mugging...

anyway something i got from kenneth's blog... found it rather funny:

"We had a talk by our english HOS, who was attempting to drill in us the importance of next week's O level english oral exam. J liew, being the extra, dying-to-be-heard HOL, continued about why we should get our practice after Daisy Chia said her peace.

J Liew : The reason why its 20%, is because its a life long skill. And oral skills, especially in Singapore, is becoming even more important.

J Liew : I mean, lets face it. We guys SUCK at it.

Student Body : *Laughing*

J Liew : I mean, no matter how hard you try, we just can't seem to do it right , we make alot of slips.

Student Body : *roars into deafening laughter*

J Liew : Hey don't laugh! [ We wonder if he's trying to suppress us or if he's simply too thick to understand what he just said ].

J Liew : So please go get your practice. You simply can't do without it. Oral is not natural for us. Girls do much better. Its natural for them.

Student Body : *becomes a heap of vibrating white bodies reeling from the sheer stupidity of his words, trying hard to stop laughing*"

if you can't see the joke in that... it's ok. just consider it an SJI thing then hahaha Cheers!

thinking of yester-year...

AP 2004 was... better in certain ways, but lousier in others. the march past this year was pretty good, except for you gin lah. the endurance of some cadets, bad lah. more people fell out this year than last year, which means they're not fit enough!!! damn irritated that i end so late on thursdays, so cannot go back to give them extra PT! left to bren and ben to do... as long as we do mass PE, no problem!! hahaha felt different just standing at the foyer, after marching for 4 consecutive years... some of you might call me nuts, but i actually felt quite bored at points lah, especially at lui's speech, no one was really listening :p but then again, u only really listen when you're the one on parade, coz there ain't much else to do lah hahaha expect maybe curse and swear at certain points of time, increasing your vocabulary tremendously within a space of 4 to 5 minutes :p

went down to PA store on tuesday, waited for a while coz cadets were collecting their uniform. when it came to my turn, turns out my name wasn't on the confirmed list. so went to Ms Lee's office to try and find her, her lights were on but she wasn't there. so i waited for about half an hour... just pacing around as usual. but u know what's the irritating thing? this time ms zachia was there!!! when i want to find zachia, lee is there... when i want to find lee, zachia is there. life's just not fair. anyway after that came home and sent an email to her, and turns out i've got to wait till last week of august before i can collect my rank! damn... so today had to borrow ta hoong's rank. at least i managed to keep his uniform in rather crisp condition after this morning's parade

parade in the morning went ok, for the flag at least. people said the parade marker's sedia and senang diri were quite bad lah, coz of bad timing. had to explain to them that different UGOs have different styles lah, so rather difficult to coordinate timing. then in the end didn't go for the charity walk, instead helped gym people move their mats from the gym to grandstand. their performance was quite cool man... jumping and flipping like that when u know that there is a solid concrete ground underneath all your mats takes guts! the part after the parade was quite a waste of time lah if you ask me. but just showing up and walking earned u 2 CIP hours hahaha so i don't think many people complained about the walk. but the performances after that, kind of draggy lah. was making a hell lot of noise before the people came back though... singing a few loud action songs that majority of us UGOs know... quite fun lah

oh yes... thinking about the most popular phrase heard in SJI NPCC HQ during AP, "where's my stuff?!?!!?" stuff can be like beret, gloves, pants, kiwi, cloth blah blah blah the list goes on and on and on... quite funny lah, seeing people running around frantically trying to find stuff. haiz tomorrow got to go to school for practical, 2 hours of writing, then after that street soccer and ATC meeting. haven't played street soccer for quite a while man, wonder if u can still ram a ball hahaha

to the 32nd batch of NCOs, welcome to NCO-ship, your final year in SJI NPCC, do your best, 3 of us will be with u till the end of your term. to 31st batch, hope you enjoyed your 4 years in SJI NPCC, and will never forget the friendships and skills that you have learnt. use them well in times to come, study hard for you O levels, and see you again soon! Cheers!

I DID IT!!!

finally got my NAPFA GOLD!!! WOOHOO!!! some of you might think it's nothing special... but considering my past records... i'm damn happy lah! let's see if i can remember correctly... (Was there napfa in primary 3?)

primary 4 - bronze
primary 5 - bronze
primary 6- silver
sec 1 - bronze
sec 2 - bronze
sec 3 - bronze
sec 4 - FAIL!!!
J1: GOLD!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA

now all know and understand the power of CJ mass PE hahaha, and of course the little thing called self-discipline to actually do some self-training!!! anyway the specific results...

2.4 - 11.50 (not bad lah considering i was coughing my lungs out while i was running) C
pull ups - 8 (alot better than 2 last year!!! hahaha) B
shuttle run - 10.2 (not much difference lah) B
sit ups - 41 (not much difference either) B
broad jump - 240cm (much MUCH better!!!) B
sit and reach - 44cm (by some friggin' miracle!!!) B

well looks like i got to run alot more nowadays... get at least all B, coz 11.50 is damn risky lah, even though i was sick. got to cut down to under 11... i believe i can do it, just depends on the amount of time i spend on training that's all.

oh well back to the chores of life a.k.a. homework. got GP and maths mock exams on wednesday, don't know how the hell i'm going to find time to study for them lah!!! especially maths, need to practice somemore loh!!! jialat... i need more time!!! the more i type the less i have... so cheers! :)