shortest lived sense of relief...

after the FINAL paper today, i felt relieved. BUT!!! mother said to me "next week you must start revising and doing your TYS already!" oh joy of all joys. i'll be mugging next week already! despite my plan to take a one week break and start mugging from the 3rd week onwards. feels damn awkward to see all your classmates after one month, only in the exam hall. damn sad lah. shaun and i sat at the last seat for the last 2 papers, just in case we needed to go toilet, so we wouldn't have to waste so much time walking down the whole isle hahaha but in the end we both didn't go toilet =p then when i sat at the back, quite a few ppl said hi to me while walking past, and good luck and stuff. by the time i could respond they were 2 tables away. quite sad man... at least lessons and class time starts in a few days. have to say my JC class is overall more fun than my sji class, feel more attached to the class as well, but i made better friends in my sji class lah. that's the difference i guess.

after maths today, was kinda funny. we can never decide where to eat when we wanna go out together. so we just hopped onto the 2nd bus that came long at the PA side busstop, regardless of wat bus it was. actually we purposely missed the 1st 985, coz we'd end up at eunos :p so we got on to 132... intended to go ang mo kio. just before we reached thompson i suggested prata, and everyone went to prata!!! YEAH!!! hahaha clarrisa was kinda dictatorial, overruled me for a while, but i won in the end WAHAHAHA ok sorry cheap thrill. i'm trying to enjoy all sense of relief while i still can.

after prata they went to josh's house, probably recked it, and i went to church. tried out the piano thingy. quite fun leh... get to be absolutely random hahaha doesn't sound completely nice though, but i think i've gotten the hang of wat i'm supposed to do. saturday gotta go again. should be quite fun. just that i can't really do the banging part yet hahaha bu xi guan lah :p

after tt intended to go gym, but no time. went to harbourfront to meet raudah, then just walk walk walk, talk a hell lot of rubbish, then eventually went to tampines since i had to go airport to pick up my dad. just sat at mcdonalds and chatted for a while, about how her fingernails really look like baby's ones :p

dad came back today. sis coming back tomorrow. less use of the comp. for my own good i guess. she'll be here for 2 months. really good timing sia hahaha less comp use till prelims are over. should do me good i guess. oh well 4 day weekend coming up... better enjoy it man. ok time to eat fruits.

what's done is done...

back to where it began...

for the whole of last week, been to pine grove to study, and it still works!!! hahaha went there everyday immediately before Os (except sat and sun) to study. but now must up tempo lah. even go there on saturdays and sundays hahaha mid years starting on tuesday, ending on thursday. am i ready for it? maybe 50%? 60%? i dunno sia. i think if i can pass everything i'd be happy already. coz last year i failed everything during mid years hahaha big enough difference? for me i guess so, for my parents, i highly doubt it.

after mid years got a 4 day week end, and it'll be the 2nd week of july. rest one week. 3rd week of july engine chiong liao man. i'll be at pine grove every night till about 11. weekends included. must whack liao ah... if i wanna get aero at NTU. anything less than AAA will have problems lah i think. must mug hard tai... it's for your own good. yes it's for my own good. amazing how something so boring and harmful to our health can be good for us hahaha

what's done is done...

world juggly fest...

just got back from clarke quay a while ago. bang got 2nd for his competition. damn cool man hahaha but the guy who got 1st... really good lah. so bang good, he's really good :p at 1st bang was kinda slipping and sliding coz of the kero on the floor, but after a while it looked like he was on drugs or something lah, like ultra high already can suddenly do everything hahaha crazy idiot. nvm... after As... my turn to play with fire MUAHAHAHAHA cool shit man. can become damn strong also. shoulders all the way down to the wrists, can become damn strong. great training for NS hahaha just the legs left to deal with. nvm... firestave looks fun. always wanted to do things which really involved my arms. writing not included.

tags...

soph: ok lah the only reason why i thought it was arti fire was coz i didn't see any lightning, and i know wat arti fire sounds like, coz my dad was in arti before and he told me hahaha

shawn: ahhh we're all behind. secondary school days rock man hahaha

bang: byob... bring your own BALLS!!! hahaha 2nd man... 2nd... next time 1st! *RAWR*

tini: still in process of learning hahaha absolutely unsmooth now... hopefully by end of july can learn lah, hopefully :p for now just settle for my immortal lah hoh :)

fuzz: yes badminton rocks! more than volleyball damn it hahaha

what's done is done...

FIRE!!!

wah... fire stave is fun man. ok fine... minus the fire... stave is fun man hahaha play tt thing wrist sure very strong one. but looks damn cool! hahaha might just be bang's next partner. but really quite cool lah. wrists and shoulders will get damn bloody strong after playing with staves. if don't use both hands... sure end up like me now (right side more developed than left side) hahaha even now my right arm seems so much lighter than my left arm :p jialat... i need a stick... broomstick also can... but kinda light hahaha oh well, can adjust. but now no time to play sia... sian diao. nice routine bang... just stop dropping ur stave lah, then will be damn cool liao ;) i try to go again tmr yah? must use left arm to even it out hahaha

tt was tonight. this morning till late afternoon was at holland v bk mugging. did about 5 hours of study, and 1 hour of eat and tock cock and sleep hahaha not bad man. most productive day since... last year!!! hahaha tmr afternoon going again. still never do my econs tuition hw though. damn it. either i sleep late tonight, or wake up early to do it. both don't seem like a very nice option hahaha i wonder why...

mugging season has begun, and i'm lagging behind. soon it will be chionging season, or is it already that season and i'm still stuck behind at the beginning of mugging season? hmmm...

what's done is done...

humpty dumpty sat on the wall...

and u know how it goes. except he didn't fall off the wall, i did. in fact i think alot of us did. and we've fallen into a big hole called slack. and we can't get out of it. we're all swimming in it, and we all dream of getting out, but it's like quicksand, and just sucks us back in. where's the motivation that can get us out of this slackhole?!!? dunno sia... blown away like the dead leaves in my garden (ok bad comparison)

been coughing with phlagm stuck in my throat for the past few days, and i can't seem to get all of it out. stupid yellow shit. haiz... at least i'm starting to exercise again. played badminton for 2 hours yesterday. my whole shirt was wet from sweat... excellent! hahaha went to school for vball today, teach some vball to some kids with criminal records. they're not that bad lah, they are still young teens after all. can be changed i guess. wrong, they can be influenced. inside they will never be changed, for everyone is who they are, but you can influence them so that they have the ability to choose whether to follow who they really are on the inside, or be the best that they can be. all a matter of choice.

feel like learning canon in D now. played it a few times lah, but wanna go try to play it smoothly hahaha so many things i wanna do lah, but CAN'T! haiz... sad sad life. thank goodness i live near holland village hahaha

what's done is done...

I'VE BEGUN!!! i think...

i finally started studying today. better late than never i guess. tried getting some physics into my head. taking some time to get the engine started i guess. what really got me started was after i saw the stack of notes inside the files. i got a shock lah. separated all my notes into subjects, then into levels. so got 6 files now, and they're scary. gotta cover all that within the next 4 months? omg... better start mugging. hope u'll have started mugging too, if you haven't, i pray that you do. for the guys... think of it as, the last push before 2 years of study break hahaha girls... i dunno lah... the last push before you get to meet more older guys? hmmm...

what's done is done...

how times have changed...

thinking back to my atc and weekly trainings when i was still a cadet, we got drilled under the hot sun, we got pumped on the burning hot parade square, and sometimes we just got knocked down for fun. being pumped under the sun was a way of life lah!!! at atc... get knocked down for an hour, on uneven ground with rocks sticking out everywhere, and we didn't grumble and bitch to our parents. we joined a uniform group and expected a hard time, and we just shut up and endured it

compared it to now. MOE regulations says no more than 20 pushups per hour. i say screw you. u get parents complaints almost weekly. end a bit late, and parents complain. get punished, and parents complain. do drills in the sun, complain too hot. do PT, complain tired. do campcraft, complain get blisters. just a step too far and parents complain. some of the cadets even say that they were conned into joining a uniform group. but hey, THEY JOINED IT! i mean they put it as their 1st choice on the cca list, and they complain they were conned? i think they just need to blame their immaturity on something else.

kids today are just pampered. they don't know what suffering means. and it's not even suffering in all it's entirety lah! hmmm tt word sounds wrong... ahhh whatever. parents please stop pampering your kids. if they complain, just tell them to endure it. it's not as if they're going to break their arms or legs right? and if they were to get injured, say a tiny little blister on their palm or something, for goodness sake it's training! u expect them to come back from training unscathed every week is it? snap back to reality lah. teenagers liao leh!!! not BABIES! haiz... even if u don't beat ur kids... let us beat them for u lah. they need discipline man.

at this rate... sji ugos will never retain it's former glory.

what's done is done...

the feeling of emptiness...

atc concluded yesterday, but was too tired to blog about it. wasn't the best atc we had, but it sure came with it's challenges and adventures. i mean, imagine running a camp of 110+ cadets with only 9 instructors. sec 2s even better, 100+ cadets with 5 instructors. of course we did do some mixing around, and got a few external CIs to help out, but most of the time it was run by us. to be honest, this batch of cadets at atc were no easy bunch. many of them gave us problems, but of course as usual the ny girls are like... creme de la creme. ac boys did well too. but the others... can be seen to be quite a tough bunch lah. but of course there were good cadets from the other units.

for most of the people the most memorable was the 1st night, during debrief. coz 1st day they weren't very well behaved lah, so we had a little instructors debriefing while they planned their campfire item, and somehow came up with a list of 14 points that i had to talk to them about. didn't think about it much after that. then somehow when briefing started, i forgot abt the 14 points, and just did the stare down with all 114 (or was it 104...) of them. somehow i found myself standing there in front of them, not moving, and they not moving. up till now... i don't know why i did it. altogether we stood there for 20 minutes. of course i did speak now and then, to help keep them awake, and of course i had to replace the 14 points with something. but the thing is there were so many other ways which i could have done it, but why i did it the way i did... i really have no idea. but i guessed it worked. of course i wouldn't advocate the use of this method, as it can be risky.

ahhh the whole thing was just so full of incidents. don't think i'm going to record all of them down, leave it to the rest to remind me of them. but that musadiq is mad lah. said lots of funny things on his side apparently. such as "you are eating into your own eating time" and "are you ready to be ready" hahaha the last one is really a killer sia. laugh like mad when i heard it.

after camp went to tampines mall (almost typed tanglin mall) and had seoul garden. ate quite alot of meat. but then again u don't usually eat much else at seoul garden. then dragged my ass home.

a while ago was watching a bit of "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind" or something like that. then suddenly i felt so empty all over again. the feeling sucks. now np is over, volleyball is over. all i have left is books. i feel damn damn damn sian now. i mean sji lasted for 4 years, and i felt so damn sad that i had to leave then. np has lasted 5.5 years, so u can guess how i feel right now. 5.5 years, that's more than 1/4 of my life spent in this organisation. sure it kinda pisses me off now, but i mean... don't know what i would've become if i didn't join them in the year 2000. i've met some really influential people along the way. of course they were mainly my officers, and later on, my peers. got to work with most of them, all but one. and that one was the 1st one to actually have an impact on my np life. to my ex-HO eric, thanks for inviting me into the campcraft comp team of 2002, and teaching me the 1st few vital lessons in my npcc career. from that point... i just starting learning things from everyone around me. probably because by that time i was in sec 3. whatever it is... i'm going to miss it. all the planning, and the headaches that come along with it. the friendships, the camps, the jokes and laughters, the adventures, the mishaps, and of course the lessons.

the only chance i have of doing something np related now is at SJI AP. but don't know whether should be pc or not, because if i do... somehow i have a feeling my parents won't be too happy, but i want to do it. but it might not be the smartest thing to do, coz don't know how i'm going to manage studies with all the extra meetings and things i'd probably have to do as pc. hmmm... i guess i'll have to make that decision soon, coz AP trainings start in july. that's my absolute last chance to do something big for sji npcc. we shall see...

what's done is done...