do or die...

no time to do anything recreational anymore. the government moans that we've got no natural talent in singapore, and are trying their best to groom them now. not sure if they actually realise but... school has stifled our ability to pursue anything that actually interests us. like me... i like badminton, swimming, volleyball, cycling and playing the piano. but do i have time to do all of this? ABSOLUTELY NOT! everytime i want to do anything remotely related to them, i'm left worrying whether i've finished my homework, or studying for my upcoming tests! it's absolutely absurd! they want to teach us creativity, but that's absolute bullshit! how can u teach someone to be creative?!?! just think about it... being creative is coming up with new and innovate ideas and solutions, but teaching involves passing on of old knowledge!!! can't even get their facts straight. teach less learn more... u want to start us off with this programme in J2?!?! wtf man! we've been in this system for 11 YEARS! and you want us to get used to it NOW?!?! when we've got 1 year left??? please if you want to start something so drastic... start from primary school. we've been zombiefied by your methods!!! it's no use trying to change the way we learn things now... coz 11 years is a hell lot of time. u cannot change something that easily... it's the way the world works. i can put us at gun point, and we still won't change. yah sure we can do our own research... but having a teacher present to actually pump us with knowledge is what we're used to, and what we'll be doing for the rest of our lives! so if your economy in the future doesn't do too well... you don't have to look too far to find the answer. it all lies with your MOE. children will always be children. they pick up whatever they see... and giving them no time to have fun as a child, is just like taking away their god given right! i mean as a child... u enjoy life! you run around all day! laugh with friends, do the things you want! u BLOODY HELL ENJOY IT! but instead u throw us in compulsory "educational institutes", then pile us with homework till there's no free time left! i mean i see primary school kids now... bags bigger than them, wearing thick lens-ed specs, and hunched. WTF IS WRONG WITH U'LL!?!?! u're just going to lead to the downfall of your own economy, and soon u'll be over reliant on foreign talent. why? coz all your home grown singaporeans have all moved overseas where it's less strict! trust me on that.

it's only monday... and i'm feeling like i usually would on a thursday. this is not good. homework has piled up. things aren't going well with her. i don't know what's going on anymore. maybe coz i'm not mature enough, or maybe because i'm just too emotional and think too much. but it's getting out of hand. i managed to survive 4 years in SJI... and a whole year of taxing npcc work. heck i'm still doing it now! i can get through this. i know i can! it's either i double up, or i die trying! coz there's no way we loosen this grip that's had us for the past 11 years of our life. i don't want to have a blog entry next year titled "i tried... and i died..." i can't wait for NS. life's just peachy.

bored...

really dunno what to do. guess i should be showering and heading to sleep, but i'm just sitting here. seriously i think i'm addicted to the computer. really really really addicted. i mean u won't have any withdrawal symptons when u bring me out away from it lah... but when i'm near it... just must use it hahaha

so... CS is fun hahaha thanks again to joshua. it's like a modern version of mafia... something which i've been looking for. just that u don't drive around lah :p finished one of the stages this afternoon... where i had to headshot the boss like 30+ times with my GPMG before he actually died. i mean u could see splashing out from his head... and he still refused to die. had to spend all remaining 41 rounds on him lah. bloody hell it's a GPMG lah!!! u know the gun which rambo used? yeah that one... big and powerful.

earlier did this funny summary for GP on technology... wah really it's like the toughest summary i've ever done man. not much points to write, and i felt like i was writing a 150 word essay hahaha just crap out your own things, and i wasn't really bothered to check whether i lifted any words or not, i mean technology is technology... how many other words can there be man?!?!?!

shawn's got some disc problems with his back, got no idea how he managed to get it... but really it sounds quite jialat. so young and his back already has such a major problem? not good man... drink more milk. guess i'll go hit the sack now... another tough week ahead with x-country and all... hopefully i can last through this week with not much problems. wish me luck... life's just peachy!

omg...

just typed an email to my officers regarding my attendance. felt so shitty lah! so now it's like i've broken 2 huge promises within a week. shit lah this is so crappy... why do i have to be stuck in 2 difficult situations at one time?!?!? :( life's just peachy.

end of week 3 (WTF?!?!)

yeah wasn't thinking too clearly last night. everything was kinda blurry to me. and eyes were half closed the entire time, so now i'm in a better mental state to blog hahaha was supposed to go sji to meet jeremy to run, but i was really too tired to run lah, so i gave him a call, and he was also damn tired from NPDP trg which took place yesterday. unbelievable that i'm just across the PIE from them man... could hear firdaus shouting at all of them during vball trg hahaha memories of last year's parade floated back... all the bloody hellish saturdays of trainings, and meetings after that. but in the end it all paid off coz i got to march in it... AGAIN!!! hahaha

school's x-country next week at macritchie (6th time i'll be running there) guys are all more or less ready to run, i mean chiong, but girls... well there's now a BKG in my class. BKG = bai kah gang. 5 girls can't really run properly now. shufang and tini both got ankle problem. marian and cheryl got knee problem, and chip is the link between them, with both knee AND ankle problems. fragile sia hahaha guys... just sore muscles everywhere, hopefully will be better by wednesday lah. i can already imagine thursday morning... everyone will be sleeping in lectures and tutorials. OH SHIT! just remember got SPA exam on thursday!!! ARGH!!! wtf man... such crappy timing.

thanks to joshua for lending me CS condition zero. played it for like 2 hours already. and my CS really sucks man... but at least i can get better through this hahaha not bad even though it's pirated :p alamak... suddenly the thought of homework hit my head, probably coz i gotta do it. so here's my list of things to do...

maths:
1. complete integration 2
2. complete integration 3

physics:
1. complete superposition assignment

econs:
1. TYS MCQ for NIA

GP:
1. read and annotate countless pages of readings.
2. complete summary.

kaoz man... i suddenly feel like going to sleep again hahaha but then again i'm feeling hungry... and there's a packet of lay's chips lying around somewhere, make me grow fat. but i guess i need to gain back some form of energy after a whole week of daily exercise. oh yeah talking about fatty food, was on the bus home with jessie yesterday when she told me that there's some ice cream buffet at haagan dazz. cool man!!! promised to go with her one of these days to holland V, after skipping breakfast and lunch of course hahaha permanent brain freeze from that man :p probably won't eat ice cream after that for a week or 2 hahaha but the thought of ice cream just for dinner is... woahhhhhhhhhhhh anyone else wanna have ice cream? :D

damn it now i feel hungrier... ok lah shall just eat the chips now, and maybe watch shrek 2 on vcd? yeah might as well since i fell asleep watching it yesterday hahaha life's just peachy!

the week...

this has been a really REALLY tiring week, never felt this "seh" the whole of last year lah, even though we ended later. but i guess vball training now more xiong (finally), PE also quite xiong, and homework just piles up lah, never able to finish all of it on time. but it's just bad lah... hmmm maybe it's coz of one other thing, but i doubt it lah, at least i really hope it isn't it.

tmr going sji to run... too tired to blog anymore. life's just peachy.

draaaaaaaaaaag...

this hasn't exactly been the best day of school so far this year. in fact i think it's one of the worst lah... everyone looks drained... the class is kinda quieter, not as loud as it is usually is, and some people are just down and out lah, either due to fatigue or other problems. i guess the prospect of the maths test didn't make it any better. anywayz maths test was ok lah... passable i think. but really screwed up one of my integration qns lah... so bloody careless loh! didn't believe i didn't see the u=e^x. completely overlooked it! ARGH! numerical methods... didn't expect to do too much lah considering i didn't exactly prepare for it, but managed to do the 1st part, which is 2 marks hahaha i guess that makes up for the 2 marks i lost in the integration part.

PE today we concluded our mockfa lah. situps, SBJ and shuttle run. situps only 38, never been very good with it, so didn't expect much lah. SBJ... 242 cm. 2 more than last year. still aiming for my 250. shuttle run, 9.9 man!!! WAHAHAHA 1st time i've gone under 10 before :p really hope i can do that again during the real thing in april. next wednesday got x-country at macritchie, whole class got signed up for competitive, so i'm going to run as hard as i can lah i guess. i hate the road the most... all the cars whizzing by makes me feel so slow, and that just demoralises me hahaha forest is the best lah... feels so natural to run there.

gotta finish integration 2 tonight, or else gotta stay back to finish it. should be ok lah, just that the bed tends to be rather tempting at this stage hahaha hopefully i'll run tomorrow morning... just hopefully. life's just peachy.

hot hot HOT!!!

both the weather and my arms lah. but the weather is ok lah... at least in class now got a fan right above me, so not so bad. but arms ah... suan man. right bicep hurts, and left tricep and elbow hurts. different arms hurt at different places hahaha nvm... must continue pulling! at least got a pulling partner in derek. both have a common goal, which should be quite obvious and i doubt needs mentioning. anywayz rubbed lots of counterpain on my arms just a while ago... not as hot as before, beginning to cool down liaoz. hopefully i can still move my arms tmr morning for more PAP

as usual nothing to say about lessons, except that fernandez is back. forgot to ask her whether her son's name is clement... then u get another CF hahaha highlight for the day... a bra was sighted on the ground floor at the J block hahaha don't ask me how it got there, most probably some poor girl was changing in the toilet, and got involved in a fight and bras were thrown around, or she not-so-smartly put it on the window ledge, and somehow it fell to the ground. not everyday u see lingerie lying around on the ground in school, so yeah it was somehow amusing hahaha

vball trg... ms smith not there so no one had any idea of what to do. so we just brought them for a round of warmup, did the thingy in the court, and the throwing balls thingy. after tt just let them play till coach come lah. friday sian ah i think need to do again... really thinking whether i should go to sji until like 4.45 then rush back to cj for coach's training at 5. but doesn't look good also lehz... wah lao... 2 heavy responsibilites... how to choose which one to go for?!!? knnbccb!!! damn hard to choose and balance loh... since both of them trainings HAPPEN to fall on wednesday and friday lah. bloody moe with their 5 day rule shit. i mean now i still gotta go back anywayz to give jeremy extra PT, so it's the same thing lah!!! so it's more or less the same thing lah, just less things to bring along. hmmm i seem to have deviated from my point hahaha so later during coach's trg... couldn't receive his spikes properly, but spiking itself not so bad lah. maybe coz before that playing the the J3s never really dive for ball at times lah... so when it came time for coaches one... just slow lah. plain slow... but happy to see the nigel and derek's spiking both improving sia hahaha cool cool. all spike cross court sia... not bad at all :)

tomorrow got integration and numerical methods test... blasting my immortal on my computer now... i want to sleep, but i can't... i want to go back, but i can't. i think i'll just leave you alone. joshua's right... i'm expecting too much. life's just peachy.

PAP club...

pull and pull. officially started today lah hahaha so every morning before school, during break and after school shall go pullup bars and PULL! aiming for at least 8 bloody STANDARD pullups by april when the real napfa is. today's mockfa did 6 only. but even then knees did bend A BIT hahaha but i'm heading for silver liao lah... bloody S&R did only 35 cm!!! @!#*$*#?%&!*# 37 is C lah... oh well, nvm lah at least more mass PE to look forward to which will hopefully improve my pathetic cardio. left with situps, shuttle run and broad jump. must say i'm most worried about my shuttle run, coz me still got blisters under my toes, so turning won't be as painless as last time :p highest hopes for broad jump... aiming for at least a 250. haven't really been trying... but lots of jumping in vball hopefully helps hahaha

after school played vball for a while... ok maybe about 2 hours hahaha lucky i played today sia... if not tomorrow super ultra malu liaoz :p helped ms smith perform a few spikes for the J1s, thank goodness all 3 went over hahaha YES!!! but not one of them had a proper contact lah... no nice "piak" sound, but at least they went over, and with considerable power. especially my last one :) in fact the last one hit my wrist... hmmm...

oh yeah got confirmation today from derek that they'll be doing my immortal for rockafella skank. i think tt's how it's spelled... anyway for those not in CJ reading my blog... that's some charity talentime thingy aiming to raise funds for the tsunami victims. so now i gotta practice that song more times. played it about 10 times today at home already? ok lah maybe not 10... about 8. trying to learn cannon in D also. not bad lah... but will definitely take a while of getting used to hahaha

man my arms hurt... shall put lotsa cream before i go zzzz ok gotta empty my file of notes... getting damn fat liaoz. bloody econs... notes so friggin' fat!!! life's just peachy!

out run your own ass!!!

that's my theory lah. as long as u don't stop running... your upper body will always be in front of your ass hahaha anywayz today PE was mockfa. really didn't expect it lah. when i heard that we gotta run 2.4 again, i got a bit of a shock. coz we've been running for every single PE lesson so far, and we ran 2.4 just last week. but oh well, just ran my guts out lah. got 11.31. 26 seconds better than my last year napfa, so good enough for now i guess, considering i got blisters under both my big toes from playing badminton barefooted yesterday with my day. they don't really hurt when i ran leh surprisingly, but they hurt when i walk... hmmm... hopefully we don't do pullups tomorrow. coz if we do... i'm in deep shit lah. going to get silver only!!! bloody hell knnbccb!!! last year mrs tan don't care if we bend our knees one, now issac lim does! so must do standard! and i can only do 5 standard lah. which is so bloody sucky, and of course only a silver. i need 6 for gold. sianzzz really wonder which sections we'll be doing tomorrow.

lessons today sama sama lah, but physics lecture was alot more interesting thanks to mr wong, as compared to mr tan, who tries his best to make it interesting, but never really does in the end :p other than that... still awaiting the long dreaded return of ms hazel fernandez (cue darth vader music). i think that music should follow her name everytime it's mentioned hahaha but hopefully she's in a better mood now that she's gone through delivery. less stress? or maybe the baby keeps her up at night, so she'll be all cranky and grumpy the next morning... omg... die alreaaaaaady ah!!! pray for mercy...

uhhh after school hung out at the piano for a while, played my immortal a couple of times thanks to don, since he brought the score. wah playing in the corner is really warm man, especially when u have people rocking you back and forth, left and right, and you're trying to read the score and move your fingers around. but in the end i still did lah MUAHAHAHAHA poor ol' shufang trying to play dunno what songs... bit here bit there, but at least she tries lah. don is good, maybe coz he's less rusty than me lah. stopped learning last year only, as compared to me stopped learning in sec 3 hahaha

then go makan, then go outside library to mug feesyx. luckily my zen had battery man! so bloody NOISY! (ahem ahem cheryl and shufang) calling anybody they knew who walked through the lower foyer. it became more of a social gathering area than a study area. but u know the power of loud music... VERY loud music ;) went through waves, not so bad... went through superposition... seeing stars now, and a few blinking question marks floating above my head. oh yes... and thanks alot to bang for paying me a visit, and opening his mouth... just to check who she was. thanks alot hoh bang. nvm at least u gave me the msgs... at least now i've got one less reason to want to kill you hahaha

ok lah dinner is calling, actually my dad is... but the reason is dinner. after dinner don't wanna study anymore sia... bloody superposition. life's just peachy!

have you ever...

have you ever felt like just running away?
have you ever felt like you were meant to be doing something else?
have you ever felt like you were powerless?
have you ever felt like screaming at the top of your voice?
have you ever felt like burning your notes?
have you ever felt like tearing up your homework?
have you ever felt like running out of lectures?
have you ever felt like punching something over and over again?
have you ever felt like kicking someone down the stairs?
have you ever felt like throwing a table/chair at someone?
have you ever felt like just breaking your pen in half?
have you ever felt like grabbing someone by the shirt?
have you ever felt like breaking down?
have you ever felt like just hugging that someone?
have you ever felt like running a mile to that someone just to say hi?
have you ever felt like jumping up and down just to get some attention?
have you ever felt like just sitting by the beach for the whole day?
have you ever felt like just walking out of school?
have you ever felt like just running forever and ever?
have you ever felt like you were falling forever?

yes. life's just peachy.

hmmm...

after kinda reviewing my life thus far... i think i'm meant to remain single my entire life. living life as a loner who can do whatever he wants without having to worry so much about how another single person will feel. doing my own thing when i want to, without having to worry about being yelled at. perhaps it's because i've been confined for too long, locked up in a cage of rules and regulations, and all i really long for is a sense of freedom. OH WELL... life's just peachy.

rated PG (Pine Grove)...

went to BANG's house to study. managed to do more work than yesterday. well just doing one question is considered more work than yesterday, but today i managed to do 8 questions hahaha or was it 9? whatever it is... today was more productive. actually i think it's been the most productive for my brain EVER since school reopened. hmmm...

went for a swim towards the evening. wah when i 1st swam the few laps ah... felt damn suan man hahaha direct result of not swimming for more than a year. but in the end completed 20 laps. had to weave around a bit during the last few rounds, simply coz traffic volume in the pool had increased exponentially (wtf?!?!)

oh yeah in the morning on the way to SJI, bumped into mymy. poor girl was going all the way to ubi just to fence. UBI!!! can u imagine... UBI!!! fencing in a bloody industrial zone. and all because they can't practice in school. wth man... so unreasonable. anywayz i met her on the bus at about 8.30, and she was supposed to be THERE by 8.30, so can guess how late she was lah hahaha at sji, besides jeremy, jing zhi, ji sheng, shanen and ernest showed up as well. i mean shanen showed up lah!!! wtf man... cannot come actual training can come for my PT?!?! but in the end they ran off to play bball in tanglin lah, while i just ran with jeremy. ran 8 rounds with him today, at ultra slow pace, after that sped through another 2 rounds to make it 10 for me. i guess because the 8 rounds was so slow, i felt like i was flying during my last 2 rounds hahaha oh well now every saturday 8 rounds for jeremy, and maybe next time 4 more rounds for me? see how lah...

i feel like playing the piano again. haven't touched it since school reopened... itchy fingers lah. but i've still gotta study for all my damn tests!!! ARGH!!! life's just bloody peachy!

in the morning in the morning in the morning...

too early to leave for sji, so might as well blog a bit. removed the music from my blog, since it apparently makes loading up the page take longer. so no more music... for now? or forever? see how lah. anywayz saturday is here again... so here's the HOMEWORK! (knnbccb...)

Maths:
1. Finish integration 2 tutorial
2. Study for numerical methods and integration test (thursday)

Econs:
1. Study for national income statistics essay test (wednesday)
2. Find newspaper article for one-to-one "interview" session with kwee

Physics:
1. Study for waves and superposition test (tuesday)

GP:
1. Await the return of ms. hazel fernandez (cue darth vader music)

well jeremy is out of here... since she's back. wonder how much she's going to blast our class when she comes back. can somehow foresee that she won't be very happy with what jeremy did, since we haven't highlighted our readings, and our essays were kinda cheesy, but his teaching style and her teaching are at like completely opposite ends of the spectrum, so i doubt she'd understand. not like i expect someone like her to understand anywayz... but that's how it goes. life's just peachy.

unmotivated?

mum nagged me to do homework again, so i got off msn and took out my maths. did a few questions and felt tired. set my phone alarm to 11 and slept on the floor. didn't hear my alarm, and woke up at 12.09. now i'm on msn again, and i need to wake up at 7.30 tomorrow. i doubt i'll really work at bang's house as well, probably end up talking a whole load of cock like today. and why on earth do i say your name without even thinking of you?!?! this is a really bad start for my academic year. life's just PEACHY!!!

hari raya...

so met joshua at PS this afternoon. sat in KFC and talked for 4 whole hours... didn't get any work done as planned. oh well... at least it was interesting hahaha life's just peachy!

yawn...

just woke up about 15 minutes ago, lunch isn't ready yet so here i am. woah i'm typing slower than usual... fingers are still cold hahaha wait hang on *crack crack crack* (morning finger warm up exercise) wah can liao man!!! hahaha tt's cool :p bones were just stiff i guess

it's a windy day, kinda hot, meeting joshua later to mug... but probably having major TCS hahaha can't join surf n sweat vball comp anymore, coz they extended it to 24th, then the next day they closed it due to overwhelming response. so damn smart of them... next one probably A div liaoz, pressure man...

tmr afternoon go bang's house to mug and swim, hopefully it doesn't rain. if it does... go gym lah hahaha need to train pullups anywayz. but i wanna get tanner again... lost it all when i went overseas last year, 2 weeks with zero sun on my skin, got fairer lah :p life's just peachy!

changes...

changed back to tag-board instead of flooble now. flooble right now seems less reliable as compared to tag-board, at least tag-board doesn't say it's not available so often :p

promised to upload the pics i found in HQ of me in sec 1... so here they are.



and...



that's the only 2 i could find lah. really don't remember these pictures being taken lah... but if you can find me then good job hahaha so far everyone i've showed it to could find me lah, except tini. she said i look COMPLETELY different... so jialat meh??? yah lah i agree my face was alot rounder when i was in sec 1... but my jaw line just got sharper lah that's the main difference, i think...

actually when i look at those 2 photos... really think about whati went through in SJI lah. i mean it's like it's about 4 years since that picture was taken. some of them i haven't seen for a while, some of them i see everyday coz they're on the same classroom level as me. some of them i knew better, some of them i barely knew. some of them i played soccer with, some of them i slogged through my NCO-ship with. had different relationships with each and every one of them lah, and all of them lasted for 4 years, except the NCO thingy. honestly did i regret joining npcc? no. did i regret going to sji? when i got my PSLE results i remember i cried lah, coz i couldn't get into ACS (I). but now i see what ACS guys are mostly like, and i'm hell glad i didn't go there. i mean their school fees are also like 2 times that of SJI's hahaha but that's a side issue. had i gone to ACS, i probably wouldn't be in CJ now, and probably wouldn't be a CI either... just a very simple way to alter your course in life.

anywayz about today... watched some play in the hall for today's ethics lesson. it was... strangely relevant lah. and the best part was when they showed the computerised handphone on the screen... it was the same design as mine!!! hahaha but yeah the play was interesting lah... and funny too. lessons... sama sama lah. wrote GP essay today. 1st one in like 3 months? something like that lah. don't think it's very good, but just getting back into the flow of things lah, especially after my disappointment during last year's promos. oh and the best part... shufang took like... more than 7 periods to finish hers? dunno how the hell she can think about it for so long lah. and the best part is that she brought all these newsweek magazines to class to refer to while she was writing her essay, so if somehow her content marks are lower than mine... she's either copied the wrong sources, or she just needs help in her essays. :p

practical today my circuit couldn't work lah, unlike last week where once i connected it it just worked perfectly. but today it didn't work coz the bloody multimeter couldn't work lah, kept thinking there was something wrong with my connection lah, so ultimately decided to change th multimeter and it worked lah! wanted to smash that thing up hahaha mass PE was ok lah... cut my 1.6 timing by half a minute again... to 8.40 minutes. so 1st one was 9.50, 2nd one 9.10, now 8.40. not bad eh? at least i think it's not bad hahaha hopefully this carries over to my 2.4 lah. after all the normal thingies... after i drank my water and cooled down, raoz was going to run on the track. so just joined him lah. did 6 rounds at a slow pace. but it's always fun to talk to raoz. just yakked and yakked around the 6 rounds, but i did feel kinda tired lah, from the mass PE before that.

after that stayed back and played vball with classmates for a while. just dug around in a circle for like... ages. must've been at least an hour or something lah hahaha after that spiked and received with derek. 20 balls each. i took damn long to get my spiking right lah... so jialat. after that played game with my surf n sweat team plus yu zheng vs. a bunch of other people. won in the end lah... but quite jialat. one of my spikes got blocked, but managed to block one as well. i need to work on the direction of my spikes lah. dunno how to get that one sia... coz right now i keep spiking straight... which totally sucks :p

next week got 3 tests... physics on tues, econs on wed, and maths on thur. life's just peachy!

that wasn't so bad...

after school today rushed back to sji for sec 1 UGO orientation. over the past few years there have been more and more REAL police coming down to talk to the sec 1s man. well it makes our work a wee bit easier because we no longer have to wreck our brains to try and persuade them to join hahaha this time they came along with loads of freebies. like uhhh... those triangular highlighthers, card holders, mouse pads, whistles and a whole load of leaflets on crime prevention and stuff. alot more than last year, only problem is that now we've got a whole load of caps left over in HQ coz we didn't give them out as planned hahaha oh well...

but the coolest part was the shooting thingy that the HQ people brought over with them. as we have the privilage of being near HQ, they brought down revolvers with this attached laser system and target boards that give out a "bang" sound when u actually hit the damn board hahaha and it also shows where you hit the board lah with the laser thing. that really excited the sec 1s i guess. but the problem was that most of them held the revolver like a damn machine gun lah. supporting hand grab the barrel... wtf man hahaha play too much CS liao these small boys :p overall it went quite smoothly i must say, drills were ok i guess, routine was simple. campcraft was ok... considering their the campcraft team so what they did SHOULD have had standard lah hahaha but the tent managed to survive little sec 1s crawling through and banging their heads arnd. must be good twine :p found a couple of sec 1 photos when brendan dug the whole lot out. will scan them and post them here maybe tomorrow, since there's no school on friday (THANK GOODNESS!!! maybe can finally go for a swim?)

after that took my time to get back to CJ as had PTM at 7.30. went over to the grandstand to observe the remainder of the volleyball training. didn't take part coz i left my shoes in class, and my boots nowadays are kinda loose. really don't know why lah, unless my feet are miraculously shrinking =X seems so damn impossible lah, but my boots REALLY feel looser lah. but the good part is that my uniform still fits me quite well hahaha everything above the boots that is, although my peak cap did feel a WEE bit tighter, but hopefully tt's coz my brain's growing bigger and not coz my ego is suddenly growing.

PTM was uhhh... dunno lah just fell asleep hahaha parents kept nudging me awake, but i just kept dozing off :p only managed to stay awake at the beginning and the end. the middle part are like half here half there lah, managed to catch glimpses between my periods of momentary slumber ;)

really gotta think what i'm going to do about this lah, whether i'll accept it or not. i guess it will be ok lah, but these guys hardly know me lah, they don't even know what i'm like lah. i'm alot more relaxed when i'm just a "regular" person, instead of having to worry about all this kinda things. it's like how i'm different at NP trainings and in school lah. just see how it goes lah, but i'll try my best. life's just peachy.

it's been a "shitty" day...

maybe there was something about today... but alot of people went to the toilet today, and i mean for big business. i went 1st lah, then later in the day derek, jerome, shawn and louis. oh yeah and shufang went too. hahaha i mean i had to go twice before PE lah, which was like just the 3rd period :p luckily after that i was ok

anyway today's PE was so "fun" lah hahaha did 25 grandstands in a row. the max i've ever done before is like... 8 in a row lah. so this was a new challenge for me. luckily i went to shit before it hahaha anywayz it was tiring i must say. after that ran one round just to get the blood flowing to our legs i guess. but yah it was cool in a way lah, going up and down with shawn and derek. never liked doing grandstands, but it was ok lah.

after that went late for econs lecture. but then while we were there not as if we learnt much anywayz. this macro crap is confusing... or is it just mary goh? hmmm... whatever the case is, she makes it seem confusing hahaha

after school headed straight down to sji. walked arnd sji a bit with ben trying to find mr lee, couldn't find him so he went back to cj for dc and i stayed to help them prepare for tmr's orientation. lucky i went man sorted out quite a few things for tomorrow. tini your cousin is a hard worker. i like him hahaha hopefully it goes well tomorrow, with seah you gin walking around hahaha but the laser thingy from PA sounds fun man. maybe i can have a try as well hahaha toy guns with lasers. all this just to entice puny little sec 1s... never ending viscious cycle.

tomorrow going to go back again. i guess i've gotta bring my full u. haven't touched my boots since 9 august last year hahaha hope there aren't any moths or cobwebs inside there man... need to really kiwi them later. eh but shit i've got an econs test tomorrow, and i DIDN'T BRING HOME MY FRIGGIN' TYS!!!!! wah knnbccb!!! realised that while i was waiting for mr lee to get ben's letters. was like banging the table outside the teachers room lah hahaha i bet they thought wth i was doing there in my cj uniform doing my homework. but then again, studying there CAN be productive, if there isn't scores of guys in white floating around constantly. when i was there no one was really around lah, except the constant negligible flow of teachers lah. otherwise can study man hahaha legs felt sore while climbing all those stairs though =X

oh yeah i realised yesterday that... samsung phones are really made for ladies lah. somehow they ALL seem to have a female flair about them. but i really can't pinpoint it lah. tze wei and shawn both have samsung phones, and they both look damn weird using it lah. don't understand why... nvm i'll just stick to nokia... more macho hahaha and my 8250 has lasted for 3 years already i think... wonder how much longer it will last hahaha it might just conk out at ATC, like maybe if i accidently dropped it or something. but really... u never know what happens at ATCs :p life's just peachy.

wetness...

shall be as brief as i can be. got homework to do ah!!! PE ran 2.4... everyone deproved, sucks like hell, pissed off as well. econs lecture was a total bore again, caught zero balls. sound wasn't even going through my head, it just bounced off outside my ears hahaha no maths tutorial today... happiness

after school played vball for 4 hours in the rain. everything is wet, drying my shoes in front of a fan at full blast now. should be dry by tomorrow morning, hopefully. pray they don't stink as well. but the vball was fun, ended up helping ms smith teach nelson's class vball half way through our game. and i think i finally figured out my spiking problem!!! only thing is changing my ways to solve it lah hahaha

oh well... back to integration.life's just peachy!

modern warriors...

that was a good match. not as fascinating as the myanmmar one... but still good none the less. captain last 2 minutes kenna sent off, goalie who juggled the ball outside his box, and lots of flying bodies. my definition of a football game to wake you up hahaha but if you really wanna know what being a kayu referee means, watch this match lah. i mean the guy used both hands to handle the ball outside the box lah! and he only got a yellow card... wtf man hahaha but who cares... WE WON!!! 2nd time in uhhh... dunno how many competitions lah hahaha kudos to indra, mani and dixon. dixon ran like siao lah... like the singaporean version of cristiano ronaldo hahaha not so much on skill lah, but pace as compared to the other players. captain's 2nd card was dumb lah... like how i would play, anyhow swing the leg hahaha

on the sad side... i haven't finished my damn homework :( spent the whole friday trying to persuade teachers not to give us homework, but obviously it didn't work. maddie just told me her class tried too, but same results lah hahaha and i finally found my michael jackson CDs!!! WAHAHAHAHA i found one of the boxes lah, but the CD was in another box, well done there tai. but at least i found what i was looking for. now i gotta find my Best 99 CD 1. dunno where that one is now hahaha. life's just peachy.

weekend homework...

maths:
complete numerical methods tutorial (20% left)
complete integration 1 tutorial (50% left)
begin integration 2 tutorial

physics:
complete practical skill C and D (same as above)
begin superposition tutorial

econs:
TYS national statistics MCQ

life's just peachy!!! carpe diem.

mooney moon...

yesterday i saw the sky with plenty of stars... tonight i saw a sky with a bright crescent moon, and nice clouds that somehow were moving damn fast. but still managed to see a few stars in the sky, and couple of planes that somehow looked like stars as well, but it all just looked nice. but i think just plain sky with stars and no planes is even rarer lah... so yesterday was really wah!!!

today... was interesting i guess hahaha our dear mr ho seng chye walked into class, so i got koon's guitar case to help cheryl keep the guitar. so everyone stood up to greet him, and i was there in the corner zipping up the bag and putting the guitar back lah, and then he scolds me, goes on and on about me not being ready to greet him, and asks me to go behind and strum the guitar (which i obviously didn't do) at that point wasn't so angry yet, coz i know that he pms alot, and maybe coz i should've greeted him before i kept the guitar or something lah. but then he just HAD to go on about how i was an officer and shouldn't have done that, and that i shouldn't be an officer, then something about treating him with respect. at that time i really lost it. wanted to blow at him lah, but just kept it inside. i mean if you wanna scold me ok lah, but don't have to insult my integrity as an officer rite? not as if you could've been a better one than me in the 1st place. you had absolutely no right to do that, so yah i was pissed. somehow i knew i would be the 1st person to be called to do a maths question on the board, and i was, but luckily it was an easy one, otherwise i would've just killed him probably. manyun said that when i walked behind him towards the board i looked like i wanted to kick his ass or something hahaha

after he left class let him walk off a bit first, then headed for the toilet, then basket he had to go in loh. so i just drank some water and waited outside for him to come out. didn't want to go in with him lah, knowing him he'd probably start some cock story inside there that would just piss me off even more. so i just spent the rest of the day avoiding him lah... don't want to see his face also. anywayz i'm sorry to all those sitting around me if i kinda lost my temper at you guys, or said things i shouldn't have. was unnecessary lah.

GP was cool... didn't do essay in the end coz we managed to dissuade him following our maths lesson saga, so we had this interesting debate where the girls were mainly represented by shufang, and the guys by jerome :p talking about male and female, and jeremy gave us this article entitled "if men could menstruate", then i filled in at the back "you would have ho seng chye" :p if some teachers read this blog too bad lah. u can't do anything to me because of what i've said here.

oh yes talking about shufang... since cheryl has done this already i might as well do this as well hahaha this morning from the moment i stepped in heard this very fascinating story from joshua. such a small world. and with shufang going "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" in the middle of judo training just made it a hell lot funnier lah!!! hahaha if u want the full details visit cheryl's blog, she's written it all there, i'm just saving myself from the blame hahaha so now shufang has 2 phrases... "OH NO!" and "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" somehow both of them have the common word no... hmmmm...

vball today wasn't so bad lah, just kinda tiring walking around non-stop for 5 hours? well at least i was walking arnd lah, as compared to standing still for 20 minutes as mr lui and the guest-of-honour gave us their speeches at AP every year hahaha difference in feelings in the legs. and suddenly there's politics appearing in vball also, hope this doesn't split the team apart sia. whatever it is i just hope the best possible person is chosen lah, that's all that matters. best for the team... on another note, i need to improve a hell lot on my spiking if i want to remain on the team. i really need the practice lah... so damn friggin' lousy!!! now all i need is to find a setter who is willing to just stand there and keep setting for me, easier said than done man hahaha carpe diem.

this will not turn into that. history will not repeat itself. it will not... but...

warmed up...

PE today was better than last week lah. ran 1.6 in 9.10, as compared to last week with 9.40, half a minute better lah. but it's still damn shitty hahaha 9.10 for 1.6 lah... 1.6!!!! some people can do 2.4 in that kind of time loh... basket, cardio sucks sucks sucks. so today's mass pe was... 2 rounds arnd school, 9 grandstands, 60 pushups, 60 crunches, 30 burpees cum starjumps, and 45x8 jumping jacks. everything i can do, except the running and the grandstands. argh!!! my legs aren't exactly my best assets hahaha but oh well. considering my knee is still kinda injured, i guess it's ok. next week if we do it again must do better! MUST MUST MUST!!!

other lessons today... oh yeah GP lecture was damn bloody boring lah! i mean the lecturer was more boring than tan hoe teck! can u beat that? not really. that guy sounded like a bloody robot lah. and he kept going on and on and on... so bloody sian! but the miracle was that no one fell asleep lah!!! hahaha must be because it was the 1st lesson of the day, so no one can fall asleep yet. but at the end i did doze off, trust me to sleep where no one else can :p the only way i managed to stay awake for the previous 50 minutes was by talking to shawn and entertaining ourselves with a few nursery rhymes... tt's how bloody bored we were. anyway shawn and i think quite similar in terms of the education system in singapore, basically we both think it's f-ed up hahaha but at many more subtle levels inbetween as well, not just up there in very general terms ;)

~~~

Hoobastank - Running Away

I don't want you to give it all up
and leave your own life collecting dust
and I don't want you to feel sorry for me
you never gave us a chance to be

And I don't need you to be by my side
and tell me that everythings all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

I did enough to show you that I was willing to give andsacrafice
and I was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought your life had had enough
when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say
so now I need you to tell me the truth
you know I would do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
To make you change your mind

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
Is it a waste of time?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
to make you change your mind

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
(What is it I have to say?)
So why are you running away?
(To make you admit you're afraid)
Why are you running away?

~~~

suddenly i can listen to this song over and over and over and over and over again. i'm sure you've gotten my point by now hahaha but it's so... me :p anywayz to josh, congrats man!!! long overdue sia!!!! WAHAHAHAHA hope i helped by bugging the hell out of you at the grandstand just now when u were on the floor ;) happy for you now, at least you can sleep better! but remember to be flexible... things can change, but you always have the power to make things better, remember that ;) carpe diem.

stary stars...

just as i was about to enter the house today i looked up, and saw that there were actually stars in the sky!!! yah sure i've seen stars in the singapore sky before, but i can't exactly remember when was the last time i saw so many! ok lah sad to say the music in my ears wasn't exactly fitting for the atmosphere, but i didn't really hear the music for that moment, just admired the once-in-a-long-time clearness of the sky. nice nice stars... somehow you can only enjoy the beauty inanimate objects for a long long time, the beauty of animate objects usually fades with time.

went for a run this morning, didn't manage to run alot lah, knee started to hurt. ok not exactly the knee, but the tendon behind the knee. either i ran too much, or i kicked the damn soccer ball wrongly. didn't play soccer for the whole of the holz, so this morning when i kicked the ball around, it was HORRIBLE!!! hahaha so malu sia, cannot even pass the damn ball properly. i mean can pass lah, but not very accurate :(

oh yeah and i've officially discovered that my ENTIRE body is lobsided. from my head all the way down to my ankles. lame ass shit rite? but yah i just found that out. hahaha somehow my left jaw is slightly longer than my right jaw. even more screwed up. and whenever i wear my specs, it will lean at an angle towards the left, so gotta adjust the nose bridge to make the left side "stand up" more hahaha arms, stomach and legs don't need to say lah, right as always been stronger than the left. since primary school already like that lah :p but ankles is interesting. i think coz of all the badminton when i was younger, so my right ankle is stronger than my left ankle. the top of my right foot is higher than the top of my left foot lah... so i'm really lobsided hahaha ok this entire paragraph was bullshit...

my doctor to be sister is giving me tips in my knee through msn... interesting hahaha i fell asleep during physics lecture today. stupid shit! stay awake tai!!! totally random paragraphs

vball training today was a messssssss. yah i admit i could've done more, but the problem with me is i gotta be ready for things to happen, if not i wouldn't operate at my prime? something like that lah... but i really didn't expect like 100 plus J1s to turn up for vball lah. and the best part was there were only about 20 J2s today. so it's not much better. well miss smith impressed me today coz she really managed to control her temper quite well. could tell she was pissed lah, but she managed to keep it inside her and not blow up at any of us J2s. wah if she did ah... i shudder to think what could've happened lah. need to elect a new captain too. i know who i'm voting for, but some guys are kinda against him coz of one quality lah. but i think he'll make the guys' team more disciplined lah, which is what we need, but i think some of the guys are not happy with that amount of control being put on them, that's the problem. but for me UGO for 8 years liaoz... discipline is part of my life lah hahaha people scold me for not being disciplined i'll understand, and shut up, coz i know i was indisciplined, but some people don't like that lah, understandable.

ahhh blabbering, i feel quite zonked out now. tai... why are you running away? answer that. carpe diem.

the unstoppable mountain...

that's homework. the moment u blow a dent in the buttom, something else is added on top. unbelievable. well at least i've finally managed to get my head down to actually do my homework. couldn't do that the whole of last week. hopefully my momentum picks up from here, and doesn't suddenly stop again. like after promos, where it immediately stopped dead till now :p gotta finish this killer econs essay by tomorrow, and that damned numerical methods tutorial. don't see the bloody point of learning something like that lah!!! haiz... what to do... =X i'm bitching...

today's econs lecture was a total bore, much like yesterday's. got no bloody idea in either heaven or hell what mary goh was blabbering about the ENTIRE lecture lah! and i really mean it this time. i might've said it before but now it's really really damn jialat. from start to finish she just blabbered on and on and on, and left us all in confusion. no one, and i mean NO ONE knew what was going on lah. i mean she's like talking to herself lah. and once i managed to bring myself to pay attention again, i found myself lost by listening, so i'd rather stone or talk to joshua hahaha or have a little fun with ganesh :p

PE was ok, ran 8 rounds, 8 grandstands, 20 pushups and 20 situps. the running really killed me man... pushups and situps were nothing, it's the running. my cardio is really REALLY CMI man... feel so weak. but all this running should prepare me for NAPFA i guess. no pain no gain. but never before have i felt a muscle strain in the front of my shin... that's a new feeling hahaha and nowadays when i run my ankles kinda hurt... not like bone pain or what lah, more like muscle strain. all this never felt before while running man. don't know if i'm injured and just don't know about it, or i'm just supposed to feel like that hahaha gotta improve my running... it's really quite pathetic :p

i think i'm going to run tomorrow morning, since my mum's gotta get to work early anywayz. going to start my weekly running thingy again, carry on from last year. i'm guessing every wednesday i'll run in the morning, since mon, tue and thur is PE, which is enough of a killer. vball on wednesdays shouldn't be so bad lah... don't need so much cardio for that. unless i gotta jump again and again and again lah, that one is also a killer hahaha

wasn't supposed to be this way lah, but i think there's not much use in really trying anymore, even though i kinda want to... so i'll just leave it as it is, and move on from here, even though it won't be so easy to forget, but the big letter A at the end of the year is really important, so i don't need anymore of this kinda things bugging me. i mean it bugged the hell out of me last year already lah, kinda sick of it, surprised i even managed to get a BBD damn it! hahaha ahhh well...the trials and tribulations of JC life, such a drag. carpe diem.

run run run...

PE today was uhhh... interesting in a sort of way. all mr lim said was "today we'll run run run" then i thought "oh shit..." following that he said "20 minutes non-stop", and i thought "OH SHIT!" hahaha but yah that's the way it was. so stretch then run. ran with shawn most of the way lah, except the last few laps. completed 7 rounds in about 13.30 (fail NAPFA loh!!! hahaha) finished ten rounds in 19.37. but then i had sorta quickened my pace for the last 2 laps till i was running quite fast when i finished my 10th lap. then as i finished, dear old mr lim said "don't stop running keep going keep going" wah knnbccb hahaha actually i think if i hadn't stopped i could've continued my pace lah. but the fact is i stopped and my entire rhythm went wrong after that :p oh well... after that went to do pullups on my own. 2x10 assisted pullups... somehow didn't feel as bad as the 3x7 one, even though i did 1 more pullup there hahaha hopefully that means my arms are waking up.

right at the beginning of the day during assembly in the hall was supposed to shout commands lah. then didn't know that there was no prayer. so there was this lag time between the students standing up and the band playing hahaha figured out there was no prayer when jon stared at me in a weird way hahaha then just shouted lah. right at the end when everyone stood up for college anthem, didn't know whether i had to shout or not, so kinda asked jon last minute, then coz everyone was making noise when we'll stood up i really had to shout, but didn't feel like it was full blast lehz... maybe coz in the hall so the sound bounces off the wall. well at least according to bang that shout was good enough lah coz after that everyone shut up hahaha but the hall thingy was kinda sian.

econs lecture shifted to LT 4 instead of 5 now, and uhhh that's about it lah. physics lecture was so damn boring today lah. was surrounded by 5 sleeping people!!! so basically everywhere i looked directly in front of me, someone was sleeping. shufang on my left (even though she'd say she wasn't sleeping), in front got shi jue, hui shan and julia, and on my left vig. but somehow i managed to stay awake lah. must train myself to stay awake in lectures liaoz. heard what happens when u fall asleep in lecture in NS hahaha much rather sleep at home than in a LT now :p got one year to learn, and since it's quite an important year, just as well i'm trying now hahaha

oh and shawn if you're reading this, remember "come and get me"? hahaha that was an interesting sight... especially since it was pointing at us hahaha carpe diem.

yikes...

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

this one is kinda true... scaringly... oooooo spooky hahaha carpe diem

the worst possible timing...

this is the first time in my entire lifetime of "scholastic" pursuits that i've felt so absolutely unmotivated. i know it's an important year and all, but the homework that i've layed out on the table, all ready to be completed, just stares at me, and i stare back at it. my brain cannot connect with my hand, or is it my hand cannot connect with my brain? whatever the case is... i really feel like doing everything else except my work.

hmmm the church bells that usually signify the 1st day of the month just started ringing... tt's interesting hahaha

so anyway as i was saying... this is quite a screwed up start to a J2 year lah. so far nothing has gone right. ok not nothing... close to nothing has gone right. there are some things that are rather "right", if you get my drift. but there are a hell lot more of "not-rights" than "rights". maybe what i need is a "left", an alternate route through all of this, but in this screwed up system set by MOE, it's a one way highway with people travelling so damn bloody fast that their entire youth is disappearing before their very eyes. oh well... little can be done against those people up there since we do live in somewhat of a monarchy with zero opposition parties around to cause any kind of disturbance. wonder if i'll get arrested for typing this hahaha whatever the case is... i need to remotivate myself. however the biggest problem still remains... HOW THE HELL DO I DO THAT?!!?

long gone are the days where we had no worries, and to get it back is just a dream. carpe diem.

don't wanna do homework...

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing. You could be a champ at chess or Survivor. Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize. On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you. You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through. Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

What's Your Element?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence

You are naturally athletic and coordinated, good at making your mind and body work together. Sports are fun and easy for you, especially those requiring good hand - eye coordination. There's also a good chance you're a great dancer, or good at expressing yourself through body language. You learn best by doing, and you feel like you've always got to be moving (even if it's just your hands). You would make a good athlete, physical education teaches, dancer, actor, firefighter, or artisan.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your EQ is

127 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

basically... whatever they said hahaha i'm just bored... and can't really do homework. u'll know me... this is what i do when i'm bored :p carpe diem.

better safe than sorry...

in case you think it's you... it's not. don't worry. :) carpe diem.

my time in a year...

well glenn, des and poyew are off to tekong chalet. those are just 3 of my seniors that i keep in contact with lah. the others, kah wee and ta hoong are ALREADY enjoying tekong chalet hahaha ok ta hoong is past tekong, he's in boon lay now (u'll can figure out what's there) anywayz hopefully that do something good during their NS time, and not get some slack shit post hahaha but then again i wonder how many of them wouldn't mind that :p

i don't know what i'm looking for and i don't know what i'm looking forward to, but i'm just looking. carpe diem.

stiffness...

am i growing old already? i hope not man :p still got NS to go through hahaha anywayz today was rather interesting. CCA orientation was tiring... played vball for 2 hours straight. only took a 15 minute break by walking to the hall to check out the badminton and judo, then walked back and played somemore hahaha never jumped so many times in such a short time span in my whole life man. i think i jumped more than 50 times lah... ankles kinda numb/stiff now. they just don't feel normal hahaha yeah man broad jump can improve liaoz MUAHAHAHA must get A for that damn thing. tt's like my best section, situps also can improve somemore lah. sit and reach... all i can say is luckily IPPT don't have sit and reach hahaha anywayz back to vball. there's this J1 jun hong (not sure about spelling), who happens to be the cousin of JULIA KONG (heaven save me!), and he can play man. just when we needed a replacement for moose he shows up! hahaha just hope he stays after 1st 3 months. i mean he's really good lah, finally we got a guy with secondary school experience :p

after that got on 156 intending to go home, then realised it was only 5, so headed to sji to see the last hour of np trg. went there, and the 1st thing i heard wasn't pretty. after that go PT with them... also not pretty. was running around in my CJ pt kit lah, but luckily it was dry fit, so therefore it was dry (oh wow miracle of miracles...) i think i REALLY desperately need to go back for np trgs at this time loh... BUT I CAN'T!!! ARGH!!! bloody fucking MOE!!! change this bloody 5 day week thing, make things more complicated, sure you have happier civil servants, but what about the fucking STUDENTS?!?!!? then after a while you say that UGOs can have trainings on saturdays, but schools wanna save money and pay teachers less so they leave it on fridays, so that they don't have to pay their teachers for saturdays. wtf man... then other day for trg is wednesday, which ALSO happens to be a CCA day in CJ... don't need to go back unit liao... only way to do that is pon vball. bloody hell...

horrible clash of timetables. but must say this 1st. i'm going to pon vball training on the 19th to go for UGO orientation. that one must go. anyway bren and neo already going... so it's a group effort hahaha carpe diem.

MASS PE!!!

finally... after 4 months... the pleasure which is mass PE is back! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! well the pleasure doesn't really come till AFTER the pe itself, but during pe... wah really wanna just lie down and rest :p no joke sia... training with jeremy has in no way prepared me for this hahaha

anywayz what we did. run 1 round of the track as a class. then girls go there, boys go there. thus NS training began. ran 2 rounds around the school, which is about 800m per round, and had to do it under 10 minutes. i managed 9.40... heng sia hahaha end of 1st round i was at 4.50 lah!!! was thinking "wtf?!?! ARGH!!" hahaha so just kept up the pace lah. 1st round was slower coz well, i think muscles were warming up. by the end of 2nd round i was all well stretched :p after that... supposed to do 4 sets of 15 pushups, 15 sit ups, 10 burpees, 10x8 jumping jacks, 10 lunges and 2 grandstands. in the end we only did 3 sets. i guess they were running out of time. if mass pe was still 1.5 hours, i'm sure we would've finished it. after that went for pullups again lah. couldn't do 10 in a row, so did 3x7 assisted pullups. wasn't that bad lah... only the last one then i really kinda had to geg and squeeze myself up the damn bar. came down and could really feel my left bicep hahaha right side is stronger lah, so not much feeling there. throughout the whole mass pe got J1s at the grandstand lah, watching us suffer under the hands of issac lim =X wonder what they think of mass pe now hahaha

after that when i got up to class... felt damn shiok. felt damn awake and kinda energized. not in the physical way, more in the mental way lah i guess. but just felt more awake, although my legs weren't that stable, i felt lighter. tt's why mass pe rules... the feeling you get after that is damn good! ;) oh yeah and the new pe shirt is damn good!!! WAHAHAHAHA when u run it kinda bounces up and down your shoulders, but you get used to that, and you can more or less feel the air flowing through your shirt, so there's less drag when u run into wind, which is hell better than fighting ALL the wind at one time :p and i also realised that quite a gew guys, including myself, are buying these shirts rather tighter... just to show off hahaha last time the bigger the better, but now that you're big, you just wanna show off :p i actually need a not so loose one coz of volleyball, coz if it's big causes alot of disruptions in my movement lah. up to you whether u wanna believe me or not ;)

tomorrow got cca orientation in CJ. the only thing i can imagine doing is... playing volleyball. i don't think u'll see me at the table... trying to lure J1s to join hahaha i'll leave that to the girls, i'll do what i do better :) carpe diem.

tired...

today really drained me... somehow. lessons were fine lah. it was after lessons that i got kinda agitated. unnecessary raising of voices, tempers flaring for no solid reason, and expecting us to do things which we ourselves know we should NOT do. totally unfair... u've lost almost all the respect i had for you as a captain, and i have to admit i did have quite alot.

time now is 9.37, just came back from doctor's with my mum. she fell ill at work today, ate some turkish thingy from m&s, then dunno what else. 1st thing she did when she came home was kinda scold me, but in a more mild way. the tone wasn't very nice lah... but then again her tone to me nowadays isn't always that nice. somehow always feel that she's scolding me lah, but then again she whines quite alot... must be where i got that from. a terrible habit to have. completely sucks.

anywayz at the doc sat outside with my dad waiting, talked to him a while about school now and stuff. can talk to him so much more easily than to my mum lah. guys lah... :p it's as if my mum is always ready to criticise and question, and the tone in which she asks questions totally cheeses me off. starting to get really annoyed with her nowadays. or am i just starting to rebel? close to 18 years of complete compliance... is this how it should end?

i really don't know lah. no one really totally, completely knows of what i'm going through nowadays with school and life. lost that closeness when i left sji. i don't think i'll ever feel like i did in sji ever again lah... it's gone. evaporated as quickly as it began. the feeling of talking to any other person without having to worry so much about the repurcussions, being able to say almost whatever you wanted to, having so much less limits than now, and the ease of communication between teachers and students. sure my class now can have lots of fun with mr kwee, but that's communication on a much lower level than what it was back in sji. in cj many of our teachers change so often that we cannot really build a bond with any one of them properly. i fear that this is how the rest of my life is going to be like... alone and misunderstood... and unable to explain myself clearly enough for all to hear.

life in our modern world is damn sad. even with all our so called modern technology, the way man functions is worst than in the stone age. we work as individuals, and only when we really need someones help do we go to them, and ask for it. back then people did what they did because they needed to survive, and were always willing to help each other out because they all lived in close knit societies where everyone was friends. now living in a world with such a huge population, yes you have friends, but how close are they to u? how close are they to each other. you can have hundreds of acquiantances, and close to zero good friends, but what's the fucking use of that? nothing. you just walk around everyday, saying hi and bye to lots of people, making people believe in the facade that you're popular and almost everyone knows you, but really... it's fucking useless.

u might wonder how come i'm on this sudden "rage" of reflection, actually i'm kind of wondering too. maybe it's coz i'm tired, or coz i'm frustrated, but i really think it's coz of the GP lesson i had today. at first i kinda doubted the guy lah, but after a while of chatter... damn it he's good! he actually makes your think damn it!!! FINALLY!!! he's open to criticism, and doesn't actually scare anyone!!! tt's a bloody miracle!!! he'll be with us till the end of january, when fernandez returns from her maturnity leave. kinda looking forward to our next lesson tomorrow, wonder how it will turn out.

carpe diem. seize the day.

aye...

it hurts... it hurts so bad... i can't bear to have you feeling this way... my poor... arms. lame shit yes... but fake no. hahaha in a moment of pure insanity, and hyping up due to a song i'm still playing now... i chionged 100 pushups just now without my knees touching the floor for a rest. yah i went mad momentarily... oh well :p the most interesting part was right after my 100th pushup... when i literally slid onto the floor. coz my knees were wet from my sweat, and i was doing it with my shirt off... and my belly was wet as well... so i completely slid allllll the way down till i was flat on the floor hahaha REALLY never feel like this before sia... even in np training hahaha oh well it's pushing one's own limits... "you only improve if you step out of your comfort zone" issac lim, 2004

i noticed that 2 people appear the most on the collage u see on top. brendan and ben loh. both appear 3 times. brendan in lower right, lower left, and left centre. ben in all 3 pics on the left, even though u can't really see him in the top left corner one, but he's there somewhere. hahaha was never really very close to either of these guys during sji lah, but then again... i was never REALLY close to anyone in my squad. just that we'll trusted each other to do what we were assigned to do, and because of them became good friends i guess. good friends in a different way i guess. heh those years were fun... kinda wish i could do it at least one more time... but it's past and will never come back. pictures are my only consolation. carpe diem.

just another day...

2nd day of JC 2. today it hit me more than yesterday... IT'S J2!!! hahaha yesterday i felt as if i didn't just have a 2 month holiday, instead i was schooling all the way till the previous day. felt exactly the same as J1!!! oh well... the only main difference i feel now is that... we gotta walk further to the canteen and LTs, but it's a hell lot closer to the grandstand hahaha i mean it's literally right below us! classroom is longer, but a lot more narrower. and it's also kinda dangerous, coz if i were to stand up and raise up my hand... i risk it getting chopped off by the fan =X not a very safe classroom if u ask me :p and the row is kinda the other way around now... so instead of t18 walking past us alot, we walk past them more, coz the toilet and stairs closer to everything is nearer to them now, damn it...

pe today was ok lah. run 3 rounds, do 3 grandstands, and 19 pushups. running as a class reminds me of np training... slowwwwwwwwww hahaha but no choice lah, it's tougher anywayz. took height and weight after tt. in london i weighed 67kg, today i weighed 64kg. must be the due to the shape of the earth, coz if i remember correctly, when you're higher up north you're closer to the centre of the earth, therefore the force of gravity up there is higher... so u weigh more up there or something. so if you're fat... don't go up north, u'll feel heavier. if you're light, by all means go up there and feel how we feel hahaha

josh (i know she definitely doesn't read this blog, so it's ok), go for it lah brudder!!! u never know what can possibly happen until you try it. don't wait any longer lah, you're just killing yourself from the inside as well. don... calm down bro, and remember what i told you last night. even i can't remember everything i told you, but hopefully u can :p carpe diem... SEIZE THE DAY!!!

wah... not as good as i hoped...

1st day of J2. 1st for alot of things actually. quite a few interesting things happened today. shall start with the new J1.

most obvious thing that took alot of people by surprise... were these 2 guys wearing what appeared to be cedar girls uniform. i mean they had a blue top, and grey pants. so 1st reaction from alot of people in the canteen was... "CEDAR BOYS!!!" bloody hell that was funny... laugh a hell lot. other than that... not much other observations lah... only got 4 from npcc here... so few only lah as compared to my squad which has like 10? hahaha

oh well on to timetable. now got half an hour periods. latest day is 4 on thursday due to mass pe, and earliest is 1.30 on friday, but that's a CCA day. damn it lah cannot go back sji :( tuesday and thursday no more assembly, so go straight to class. socks don't really matter any more, as long as your wear them :p handphones can be used practically anywhere in school, as long as there is no lesson in progress. just keep it out of sight in the classroom during lesson time and in the LT lah, and you'll be fine.

classroom is now in J5-004. 5th floor again ah damn it. so far away from everything. the only thing it's close to is the grandstand and track area :p perfect if you wanna play i guess hahaha just throw a ball down from the 5th floor if you want a change of game :p

physics teacher is no longer mr low, instead it's this teacher that appears nice, but somehow extremely bulliable as well =X not very good, but that's just a first impression, looking forward to him changing that. PE teacher is now issac lim, joy of all joys hahaha first PE period today when everyone else is just sitting down getting briefed by the teacher, we had to run 1 round of the track, then sat down for briefing, and the guys had pull up test!!! double joy of all joys hahaha did 5 only lah, but improvement coz i didn't bend my knees at all this time. hopefully by end of this year can do 10 at least ultra standard ones. basic target before NS lah i guess... but the good thing is that our class is not split in half this time. WOOHOO! finally a whole t19 class for PE hahaha

haiz... see you today feel so paiseh. don't know what to say to you also... so irgnts. jialat sia... never feel like this before also. cannot carry on like that. cannot cannot cannot. haiz... carpe diem.

school... J2...

another year of school starts again tomorrow... for the final time for the next 3 years. going to be the toughest year in our entire scholastic history. apparently even university isn't as tough as J2, oh well...

should be interesting... don just told me that we've got 90+ josephians again. apparently at 1st there was 120, but then other schools stole them coz of sports (damn them!!!), and i initially predicted that there would be about 120 sji guys with us this year, and apparently I WAS RIGHT!!! (damn them again!!!)

got a msg from lina a couple of hours ago saying that vball training is on wednesday and friday this week. really hope it's not a permanent thing, if not cannot go back sji for np trainings. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! really hope it lasts only for this orientation period, if not... ARGH!!! luckily competition is somewhere inbetween february and march, and not in april or may, so can still go back for np trainings after that. will have to see how lah... but really want to go back for np trainings.

a whole year of activities to look forward to, whole new set of challenges, whole new set of lessons to be learnt... BRING IT ON!!! carpe diem.