the only easy day was yesterday...

i'm using that line in the signals standard of things. hope no divers get offended or anything.

route march on thursday was hell. really really hell. and even though it was only 16km, i really had to push myself. stomach problems from that morning, walked with it, and this weekend kinda slept through the whole of saturday. only woke up to go toilet and eat. really drained myself doing the damn route march. and next week we've got exercise ahf. yet another opportunity for my course commander to screw us all up. honestly i'm not looking forward to it, not at all. and i know i'm certainly not looking forward to endurance exercise. but what to do... just 5 more weeks and i'll be out of SI... hopefully...

really didn't get to see much of her this week. it's been a tough week for her as well. wednesday night was really tough on her. me and my mouth's fault. friday was hard on her too, simply because i'm so damn weak now and i keep falling sick. keep making her cry :( keep making her worry. keep making her spend energy over me. and if i hadn't eaten that damn mango pudding she would be fine and she wouldn't have gotten distracted and tripped and fell at my driveway. i'm just thankful she was wearing jeans instead of shorts. otherwise her knees would be completely gone by now. today she spend the whole day at home preparing her good friend's birthday present. and if i wasn't sick i could've spent the day at her place with her, maybe even helping her with the gift. but the whole of today and last night after she left i find myself tearing my heart to pieces thinking about whether i should get her to spend more time with me, or whether i should leave her to do her own things at home. there's always this internal conflict within me on the weekends, and this weekend it was even more so.

last night i held the shirt u bought for me and cried myself to sleep, because i don't want to ever let you go...

everybody owes, everybody pays... the cost

6 weeks down... and so much has changed...

signals is really completely different from my time in bmt and sispec. especially in sispec when i was in charlie. yes there is discipline too, but that's mainly when my course commander is around, coz he's a 1WO who was an rsm last time, so he's really got alot of experience behind him. 28 years to be exact. but the amount of training i've done in an aircon room is really quite overwhelming, so much so that my sinus is acting up again and i've gotta use my medication every morning to prevent feeling sick and screwed up all day long. really sucks. and we sweat alot less, and take in alot less vitamin D. so i'm looking for ways to take in more sun, but with the haze coming down on singapore again from indonesia, that doesn't look very likely in the near future, for the good of my own lungs. i mean i already get enough cigarette smoke from camp, both during and after my friends finish smoking =X makes me even more determined to not pick up smoking man hahaha unbearable stench!

as of today the exercises officially begin. but these exercises are completely different from bslc. then we had gypsy, wanderer, nutcracker and grandslam, where we ran around in some jungle, charging left right up down and centre and smoking the hell out of mosquitoes. but now we have exercises that are conducted in aircon rooms. and these things last for 3 days? omgggggggggggggggggggggggg........... 3 days of aircon room. some people would love it. but i don't. my ass is seriously getting sore from all the sitting down man. i don't even feel as if i really deserve my sleep at night anymore. just eat, sleep, get fair and fall sick. wonderful hahaha

on a different, more automotive note, in my previous entry i said that i was going to own the audi shown in the picture. but recently i came across a much more drop dead attractive audi. but it'll definitely take me longer to get my hands on this one hahaha






everybody owes, everybody pays... the cost