hope shines in the distance...

~~~

Nickelback - Someday

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

~~~

this song is just... so scaringly relevant to me right now... not sure if she still comes here, but is there still a chance? maybe, hopefully, this so called "war" is just so stupid... cheers

don't say until like that lah...

hopefully the area CIs are having fun at the J's house now with the BBQ. didn't go coz from the way mum is talking nowadays, i highly doubt she would've let me go. and if i asked, probably get interrogated with the amount of work i've done today, and the previous days and blah blah. so anyway i'm still at home, taking a short break from work now. BBQ meant to be a farewell for julius and ta hoong, since they'll both be going NS soon. but from the way some people talk about ths bbq, it's as if we'll never see them again or something. sure we'll never see them again in the capacity of a CI, but a friend is still a friend, a CI is still a CI, a comrade is still a comrade.

but i guess still owe ta hoong a word of thanks. he was my NCO when i was in sec 1, and my CI all the way up till last year. this year i became his peer! felt rather odd i guess, but the good thing about being a josephian cadet, your CI is your friend, your buddy, which i think not many other units have. after training can laugh with them, play soccer with them, eat lunch with them, and all the sorts. so thanks to ta hoong for well... teaching me for 5 whole years, even though i only got to know him better this year, and i don't really remember his presence from sec 2 and 3, but i guess he was still out there somewhere hahaha cheers mate!

too much sleep isn't good either...

had a hell lot of sleep over the past 3 days (to make up for my 4 hours on ubin), but i still feel tired. sunday night slept from 11 to 11 (12 hours), then monday evening slept 5 to 8 (3 hours) and on monday night 11 to 7 (8 hours). and that totals to 23 hours!!! damn it nearly a whole day gone man... then today when in school i kinda felt drowsy again... hmmm but not exactly drowsy, it's that feeling where you are awake but your head just feels like drooping onto the table and your eyes want to close... oh well got school again tomorrow... wasted lee pin asked me to help at her unit (which fyi is all girls) for baton drills and lamp lighting, but then got lesson tomorrow, so nope hahaha would be another experience for me altogether yet again. need to start mugging soon man... maybe tomorrow after lessons... cheers!

i'm tired... are you?

area 15 sec 3 atc is over... that would make my counts 3 ATCs in one year... phew. well one thing i must mention is that every ATC i've been to since D'03 CIBTC has been a wet one. and this time around this chain was about to be broken, until when we were crossing from ubin to changi, where it suddenly started pouring like mad!!! hahaha somemore we were the last boat so we sway sway got caught in choppy waters and got water flying into my face every second.

anywayz uhhh... this camp... tiring as usual, but with more instructors so wasn't as tight as last time manpower wise. hmmm sji wasn't there, because the sec 3s were in OBS, also in ubin, and beatty and queenstown joined us. this time around had many fresh CIs out from J'04, 6 to be exact. but there were some D'03 CIs who didn't go for sec 2 one, altogether there was about 10 CIs who had never been for area 15 ATC before, so it was well... interesting i guess. alot of people i had gotten to know at sec 2 ATC weren't around, due to J2 life.

well was group CI of Juon together with weina, they were an interesting bunch, in that they had a hell lot of ideas in their head, and all had their own point of views, but just didn't dare to share them with the group. at times was wondering if i was the problem that caused them not to speak out loud. maybe i DO look a bit dao and scary... hmmm...

anywayz 1st day... was doing logistics again. but this time didn't need to go PA lah... THANK GOODNESS!!! just waited at jetty for YY and her "gang" to come along. then helped and directed them with the movement of jerry cans onto the log boats. this time around we're lucky, because it wasn't exactly low tide, as compared to back in june, where it was bloody tiring bringing them down to the damn boat, but now not so bad lah, not such a big difference. after that at ubin, directed them as they unloaded the boat and moved it all the way up to the lorry. haiz long process of logistics lah, at camp things got pushed back even though no tent pitching... at night had sentry from 4 to 5, slept from 2.40 - 3.40, which means 1 hour of sleep lah. next day was a bit zonked, but still can manage lah.

hmmm realised that my sis' has got the whole swordfish movie soundtrack on this comp, and it's not bad hahaha. anyway day 2 1st cycle went ATF, what i saw the cadets doing was what i had done at LLTC. brought back memories, thinking about how i went through it, because back then i was a hell lot weaker, with skinny arms and flabby legs hahaha 2nd shift was orienteering... walked quite a distance this time. but couldn't finish all the checkpoints lah, not enough time again. after that during 3rd cycle was free, supposed to help brendan soak the firewood, but we both ended up falling asleep in the bunk hahaha. so 1 more hour of sleep... at night, campfire at the beginning was quite alright lah, only towards the end that it got a bit draggy, but overall quite alright i guess considering a group starting planning for it only at the beginning of camp. after that op lollipop, was ok i guess... but yet again not enough time, coz campfire dragged on till quite late. this time at night had no sentry, but debrief went on till quite late, so ended up sleeping at 3.30, woke up at 5.30 coz i had to raise flags. so 2 hours.

morning wake up, had cases of missing mess tins and tommy stoves. damn irritated, but all of them were within our range of ability to find. cleaning of equipment was quite fast and smooth. damn it just found out i got a mosquito bite on my ankle... can't think of how the hell that was possible, but what's done is done... so all i can do is either scratch or endure!!! hahaha didn't have any problems with returning logistics, which is excellent!!! :) somehow seemed smoother than sec 2 one, excluding the walkie incident. didn't really observe the finale, coz was walking around gathering logistics, but i think it went smoothly, since it's quite spread out. walking out was no problem at all lah, could say that the 3rd day went very smoothly. we were ahead of schedule, and everything that needed to be done was being done, so it was quite a good day i guess.

wondering whether the way i talk kind of turns people off, coz sort of talked to a few people, and realise that they do pay attention, but it doesn't really hold for very long. oh well.. as usual here's my little list of statistics that i can remember...

1: number of dogs that roamed around campsite all day
3: number of days of camp
4: number of hours of sleep
5: number of times i lost and found my pen
6: number of talkies
15: number of compasses and maps
21: number of tents
64: number of jerry cans
uncountable: number of times i wanted to pump them but couldn't
uncountable: number of packets of maggi mee

aiyoh can't remember anything now man... too tired, eyes are getting heavy... looks like it's time to get my many many long overdue hours of sleep. Cheers!

not again...

got sec 3 ATC tomorrow, and i feel the same way as i did for the area 5 one, kind of sick and damn tired :( nose started running before chinese mock today... damn it should've used my flixonase. stupid crap... still haven't finished packing my bag yet, and not exactly looking forward to walking around singapore with such a big backpack... and i just feel tired... *yawn* Cheers.