FIRE!!!

wah... fire stave is fun man. ok fine... minus the fire... stave is fun man hahaha play tt thing wrist sure very strong one. but looks damn cool! hahaha might just be bang's next partner. but really quite cool lah. wrists and shoulders will get damn bloody strong after playing with staves. if don't use both hands... sure end up like me now (right side more developed than left side) hahaha even now my right arm seems so much lighter than my left arm :p jialat... i need a stick... broomstick also can... but kinda light hahaha oh well, can adjust. but now no time to play sia... sian diao. nice routine bang... just stop dropping ur stave lah, then will be damn cool liao ;) i try to go again tmr yah? must use left arm to even it out hahaha

tt was tonight. this morning till late afternoon was at holland v bk mugging. did about 5 hours of study, and 1 hour of eat and tock cock and sleep hahaha not bad man. most productive day since... last year!!! hahaha tmr afternoon going again. still never do my econs tuition hw though. damn it. either i sleep late tonight, or wake up early to do it. both don't seem like a very nice option hahaha i wonder why...

mugging season has begun, and i'm lagging behind. soon it will be chionging season, or is it already that season and i'm still stuck behind at the beginning of mugging season? hmmm...

what's done is done...

humpty dumpty sat on the wall...

and u know how it goes. except he didn't fall off the wall, i did. in fact i think alot of us did. and we've fallen into a big hole called slack. and we can't get out of it. we're all swimming in it, and we all dream of getting out, but it's like quicksand, and just sucks us back in. where's the motivation that can get us out of this slackhole?!!? dunno sia... blown away like the dead leaves in my garden (ok bad comparison)

been coughing with phlagm stuck in my throat for the past few days, and i can't seem to get all of it out. stupid yellow shit. haiz... at least i'm starting to exercise again. played badminton for 2 hours yesterday. my whole shirt was wet from sweat... excellent! hahaha went to school for vball today, teach some vball to some kids with criminal records. they're not that bad lah, they are still young teens after all. can be changed i guess. wrong, they can be influenced. inside they will never be changed, for everyone is who they are, but you can influence them so that they have the ability to choose whether to follow who they really are on the inside, or be the best that they can be. all a matter of choice.

feel like learning canon in D now. played it a few times lah, but wanna go try to play it smoothly hahaha so many things i wanna do lah, but CAN'T! haiz... sad sad life. thank goodness i live near holland village hahaha

what's done is done...

I'VE BEGUN!!! i think...

i finally started studying today. better late than never i guess. tried getting some physics into my head. taking some time to get the engine started i guess. what really got me started was after i saw the stack of notes inside the files. i got a shock lah. separated all my notes into subjects, then into levels. so got 6 files now, and they're scary. gotta cover all that within the next 4 months? omg... better start mugging. hope u'll have started mugging too, if you haven't, i pray that you do. for the guys... think of it as, the last push before 2 years of study break hahaha girls... i dunno lah... the last push before you get to meet more older guys? hmmm...

what's done is done...

how times have changed...

thinking back to my atc and weekly trainings when i was still a cadet, we got drilled under the hot sun, we got pumped on the burning hot parade square, and sometimes we just got knocked down for fun. being pumped under the sun was a way of life lah!!! at atc... get knocked down for an hour, on uneven ground with rocks sticking out everywhere, and we didn't grumble and bitch to our parents. we joined a uniform group and expected a hard time, and we just shut up and endured it

compared it to now. MOE regulations says no more than 20 pushups per hour. i say screw you. u get parents complaints almost weekly. end a bit late, and parents complain. get punished, and parents complain. do drills in the sun, complain too hot. do PT, complain tired. do campcraft, complain get blisters. just a step too far and parents complain. some of the cadets even say that they were conned into joining a uniform group. but hey, THEY JOINED IT! i mean they put it as their 1st choice on the cca list, and they complain they were conned? i think they just need to blame their immaturity on something else.

kids today are just pampered. they don't know what suffering means. and it's not even suffering in all it's entirety lah! hmmm tt word sounds wrong... ahhh whatever. parents please stop pampering your kids. if they complain, just tell them to endure it. it's not as if they're going to break their arms or legs right? and if they were to get injured, say a tiny little blister on their palm or something, for goodness sake it's training! u expect them to come back from training unscathed every week is it? snap back to reality lah. teenagers liao leh!!! not BABIES! haiz... even if u don't beat ur kids... let us beat them for u lah. they need discipline man.

at this rate... sji ugos will never retain it's former glory.

what's done is done...

the feeling of emptiness...

atc concluded yesterday, but was too tired to blog about it. wasn't the best atc we had, but it sure came with it's challenges and adventures. i mean, imagine running a camp of 110+ cadets with only 9 instructors. sec 2s even better, 100+ cadets with 5 instructors. of course we did do some mixing around, and got a few external CIs to help out, but most of the time it was run by us. to be honest, this batch of cadets at atc were no easy bunch. many of them gave us problems, but of course as usual the ny girls are like... creme de la creme. ac boys did well too. but the others... can be seen to be quite a tough bunch lah. but of course there were good cadets from the other units.

for most of the people the most memorable was the 1st night, during debrief. coz 1st day they weren't very well behaved lah, so we had a little instructors debriefing while they planned their campfire item, and somehow came up with a list of 14 points that i had to talk to them about. didn't think about it much after that. then somehow when briefing started, i forgot abt the 14 points, and just did the stare down with all 114 (or was it 104...) of them. somehow i found myself standing there in front of them, not moving, and they not moving. up till now... i don't know why i did it. altogether we stood there for 20 minutes. of course i did speak now and then, to help keep them awake, and of course i had to replace the 14 points with something. but the thing is there were so many other ways which i could have done it, but why i did it the way i did... i really have no idea. but i guessed it worked. of course i wouldn't advocate the use of this method, as it can be risky.

ahhh the whole thing was just so full of incidents. don't think i'm going to record all of them down, leave it to the rest to remind me of them. but that musadiq is mad lah. said lots of funny things on his side apparently. such as "you are eating into your own eating time" and "are you ready to be ready" hahaha the last one is really a killer sia. laugh like mad when i heard it.

after camp went to tampines mall (almost typed tanglin mall) and had seoul garden. ate quite alot of meat. but then again u don't usually eat much else at seoul garden. then dragged my ass home.

a while ago was watching a bit of "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind" or something like that. then suddenly i felt so empty all over again. the feeling sucks. now np is over, volleyball is over. all i have left is books. i feel damn damn damn sian now. i mean sji lasted for 4 years, and i felt so damn sad that i had to leave then. np has lasted 5.5 years, so u can guess how i feel right now. 5.5 years, that's more than 1/4 of my life spent in this organisation. sure it kinda pisses me off now, but i mean... don't know what i would've become if i didn't join them in the year 2000. i've met some really influential people along the way. of course they were mainly my officers, and later on, my peers. got to work with most of them, all but one. and that one was the 1st one to actually have an impact on my np life. to my ex-HO eric, thanks for inviting me into the campcraft comp team of 2002, and teaching me the 1st few vital lessons in my npcc career. from that point... i just starting learning things from everyone around me. probably because by that time i was in sec 3. whatever it is... i'm going to miss it. all the planning, and the headaches that come along with it. the friendships, the camps, the jokes and laughters, the adventures, the mishaps, and of course the lessons.

the only chance i have of doing something np related now is at SJI AP. but don't know whether should be pc or not, because if i do... somehow i have a feeling my parents won't be too happy, but i want to do it. but it might not be the smartest thing to do, coz don't know how i'm going to manage studies with all the extra meetings and things i'd probably have to do as pc. hmmm... i guess i'll have to make that decision soon, coz AP trainings start in july. that's my absolute last chance to do something big for sji npcc. we shall see...

what's done is done...