my 7th UTC

i still remember my 1st utc in sji npcc. there were only sec 1s and 4s, and they grouped us according to our size hahaha so there were 3 groups. the small, medium, and large. i was in the large group lah, coz of height. then we had damn girly group names, can't remember what they are, but i remembered we changed it in the end, coz we were all complaining hahaha and of course, got whacked like mad lah. after eating a damn filling breakfast because we had to finish ALL the food, we went back to our bunks, and got pumped. bloody hell my stomach felt like shit man, will never forget that feeling.

that was 7 years ago. now, it's the end. unlikely that i'll ever help out at camps anymore. camps are a completely different feeling from just normal weekly trainings. you can really push the cadets to the limits, and by the 2nd night, can see them really shagged out. but from experience, you'll only come out a better person lah. but this camp, the really sad thing was the sec 4s. i was impressed by the sec 2s, proud of the sec 3s, but totally disappointed by the sec 4s. had to wake up early on the last day of camp to "wake them up". i must say it was too late, should've done it on the second morning. but better late than never. while brendan, ben and ronald went on... i stood there silent for most of the time, then at the end spoke to them about life as a whole, not just np. hopefully whatever i said had an impact on them, but for sure, whatever we ALL said had an impact on them, because on the last day they were finally working!!! but then again... if it only lasted for that last day, then obviously it didn't work that well. we'll leave that for them to settle, now ben, bren and me... are finally done.

it's really been a blast being with them both for 7 years. even though we don't really talk much to each other, we can still work together, there's still a sense of trust in each other, and i hope somehow we can work together again in the future. thanks guys... great fun filled times and crappy times spent with u through training. cheers! :)

what's done is done...

my hands feel tied...

just came back from my trip to cut my hair, have a meeting at sji and get my final paycheck. so now i got money, shorter hair, and a very saddening feeling of helplessness.

had a little meeting with mr lee, mr sim and this new teacher mr tang. if u ask me he looks a little blur, but i guess i will find out more during utc. but looking at the sec 3s and 4s today, i felt a little bit of heartache. mainly because... i don't know what has happened. along the way we've obviously lost grip of something, and either didn't notice, or didn't give a damn. but i think it all started with us CIs. that is because... we are always the ones talking the most, we are the ones with more experience than the ncos, and obviously the cadets will learn from us more than the ncos! and as for the present sec 4s, i think it all started when they were sec 1, which is when i was in sec 4. might be a little confusing to you, but it's all perfectly clear to me. this is really, the ultimate last chance for me to do anything to help the unit that has helped me so much. but yet thinking about it on the way to the hotel and on the way home, i'm kinda clueless as to how to help the present sec 3s.

i've figured there's nothing much i can do to help the sec 4s now than to advise them on things that they have already done, and hope that they learn from there. but the sec 3s, can tell that there is still this bunch of people who aren't as playful and therefore I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP!!! but the only problem is their names lah. not been back to unit seriously for... 1 year? more than that i think! so gotta pick up their names fast, and work on them during camp. but... what can i say to them that we haven't been saying for the past 3 years of their np career? i mean obviously it hasn't been working, so they need something new, something fresh to inspire them, and i need to think of that something really fast.

for glory, for honour, for sji npcc

what's done is done...

1 month more...

time now... 3.40pm. date... march 8. in a month's time, april 8, 3.45pm, will be the day i'm shipped off to tekong hahaha life will change. for better or worst? i'm not sure, but life definitely will change. then i'd probably realise how much i've taken for granted the time i have now, but i'm slowly doing more and more productive things. there are many things i still want to do, but i'm just not too sure how to go about doing some of them =X whatever it is... one month more to do whatever i want to do, and one more month before i become a "man" (in singaporean terms)

what's done is done...

Be faithful in service, diligent in duty and a good example to the students you lead

keep that in mind tai... keep that in mind...

what's done is done...

that's all folks...

excuse me if i'm not making much sense, coz i just woke up, and since i feel like blogging i thought i better :p finally completed 12 years of stringent MOE madhouse style of education. at psle i was sad, at o levels i was overjoyed, and now at a levels, i'm satisfied. quite averaged out don't u think? but still... the one sad thing is that, we worked so hard for 12 years, which is 2 out of 3 parts of our lives thus far, and all we got is 3 slips of paper, each determining where we can go and what we can do for the next part of our lives. and unfortunately, this latest slip of paper will determine what we can and cannot do for the REST of our lives, however long, or short, it may be.

so like i was saying, i am satisfied with the results i got, considering i got FOE for prelims, and now jumped to ABC. it's like right at the other end of the scale hahaha but things kind of got switched around a little but. at prelims, maths F, econs O, physics E. now... maths B, econs A, physics C. none of them stayed in the same place lah hahaha and our class got 5 As for econs!!! mr kwee couldn't believe it, and so couldn't i :p but poor mr tay didn't get any As. mr ho got a couple i guess. ms fernandez got none too, but apparently we did the best of her 3 gp classes, so that's good enough i guess.

alot of people didn't do as well as expected, and it's at times like this that i feel quite helpless. not for myself, but for them, especially bang. he worked hard man... he did study. but then he just had too many distraction around him. that's one of the reasons why i stopped going to pine grove to study. i tried to warn him about being distracted by the other people who had less important exams in the study lounge, but he still went there, and at that stage i didn't know what to do. maybe i should've tried harder to warn him and encourage him to study somewhere else, away from all these distractions. maybe this is one of the times when i wasn't there for my buddy. maybe i should've have sacrificed a bit to help him realise how important this was, and maybe it would've helped me too. but such things... we'll never know. but bang, don't give up yeah? i never knew you to be one who gave up, so keep on fighting and believe in yourself, like you always have, and you'll be fine. don't think u'll be reading this anytime soon but... jiayou man. i'm always still a few busstop away :)

what's done is done...