gotta get through this...

as you can tell from the new song i've put on my blog... i got to get through all this shit... promos, personal problems, well main problem is promos lah... but personal problems are kind of bugging me now and then. Cheers

CJ celebrates teachers' day 2004...

well teachers day has arrived again... first time in a new environment (for certain obvious reasons) first went to the hall to see a few performances... the dance club got quite a good response, because they always do the most exciting things, but this time around, the ICS overshadowed them lah!!! those guys damn good sia, i tell you i wanted to see it again. very well choreographed, and just very very cool, unlike dance club where there are too many people and the stage just becomes so cluttered. but the 5 guys in dance club did a little number by themselves with huge afro wigs on their heads.

after that went to grandstand for the "carnival". saw chiobu, cheryl and blackie perform. quite well done man... cheryl sounds so different when she's singing hahaha and weekoon actually introduced derek as blackie at the end of their performance lah!!! hahahaha damn funny... but too bad not the whole class was down to see the performance, were all slacking in class :p after that played some volleyball as part of the "competitions". we played against uhhh... 2T14 is it? can't really remember, but both mr kwee and mr low can play volleyball man!!! hahaha they're not bad, found out that mr low had secondary school experience, not sure about mr kwee though. during the warm up i tried a few spikes, f-ed up all of them, quite pissed with myself. luckily during the game there wasn't a chance for me to spike, if not sure ultimate man. need to get used to spiking during games, when things are going very quickly, and you just move when you have to. the reason why i screwed up is because of the way i jumped lah i think, didn't do what coach taught us, my feet were just fumbling around. the match ended 15-7, and the opposing team had mr liew on their side. when i saw him i was damn worried lah, because if he were to spike we'd be dead. when i served, it was a nice flight lah, and it would have been in if it was on the guy's court, but bloody hell it was just out. can't remember if there was wind when i served though, but i've never EVER hit a ball beyond the baseline before, so must have been the wind hahaha after a while found out that we could only play 1 game, due to lack of time. but that was my 1st so-called "competitive" match, and with classmates watching glad that we could win, albeit quite lucky coz the opposing class didn't have any school players. after that just dug around on the field, basically wasted time. oh and lina thought mr low was a student!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA looks like mr kwee has been replaced!!! poor mr kwee, don't worry we'll still remember you for your lameness. actually it's quite good lah, got a good mix coz mr kwee is more of the fun side, and mr low is more of the serious side. they're both good teachers, and they're both young as well! youngest male teachers in CJC man hahaha but i found out that mr low might not join us next year as he probably stay with J1, basically because he's new, which sucks lah!!! :( oh yeah... she spoke to me!!! hahaha suddenly don't feel so... weird? i don't know...

anyhow after that went down to PA to try and collect my rank. likewise as last time my name wasn't on the list that Ms Lee gave to them, but thank goodness the store lady was freer this time, and Mr Chng was there as well!!! hahaha he recognised me from my little episode with logistics during sec 2 ATC :) in the end i still managed to get my rank, and the weirdest thing is i only found out that my surname was typed wrongly on my cert there and then!!! wtf man!!! tai became tia... buggers... can't seem to get anything right! but who cares... i finally got it!!! hahaha after 2 months of submitting the form, and 1 month of getting the cert, and one failed attempt that pissed the hell out of me... I FINALLY GOT IT!!! just took it out to have a look on the bus, and i was reminded of why i was given this rank, and how meaningless it could be if i didn't put in any effort. a timely reminder i guess...

going for a jog later, and mug after dinner. got to finish that damn GP portfolio. heard it involves a hell lot of writing. hopefully i can finish it by tomorrow when i go to school to study. going to run in the morning too... haven't run in damn long lah. probably do some sprint laps, just to get the blood pumping in my legs again after my injury. Cheers!!!

i hope...

after hearing all the things that you are going through, i only have one ultimate wish for you, and that is for you to get well, so that you can lead a normal life. really hope that you can get well soon, so that i can spend more time with you... please lord help her... it's not fair for such a nice person to not be able to have a fulfilling life.

irritated...

friggin' irritated... they bring me out for dinner when i want to stay home and study, then when i want to play computer they tell me to go to sleep. fuck you lah!

bad habits...

last 2 night been screwing up my biological system. last night i was so tired that i fell asleep on the floor at about 9, then woke up at about 11, and dragged my ass off the ground, only to fall onto the bed which was directly next to the spot where i had previously layed. so i spent the whole night in my stinky ass t-shirt that i had worn from after volleyball training, with some sweat. so my bed now might stink a little bit... just pray not too much. woke up this morning to take my long awaited shower, and didn't manage to do a single bit of work in the end.

tonight, or yesterday morning whichever you prefer, spent about 2 hours plus on the floor again, sleeping in my school uniform. even as i type this i'm still in my school uniform damn it!!! anyway studied for 2 hours in the end, going to shower after this and hit the sack. 3 damn tests tomorrow, didn't study for maths, don't intend to... a thick stack to study for econs, just read through and refreshed my memory. physics... i hope i can do well :X

this so-called study habit better not become permanent, if not i won't survive for long, i know it.

long day ahead for me tomorrow... after school there's volleyball training, followed by atc meeting, which will probably end at around 10 again. saturday... also another long day, not sure whether my family dinner is still on or not, if it is then i can't go for area meeting.

i don't know what i'm doing anymore. in my heart i say stop, don't carry on, but my actions are the same as before... i don't want to get too close and friendly, but somehow i still am!!! :( my actions might be the cause of my downfall one day, eventually... in fact i think it has been one of the reasons why i f-ed up before!!! the trials of life are throwing me into an 'emotional prison', where i'm sort of stuck and confused, stuck as to how i should carry on with my life, the next move to take, with anticipation of what the future will throw at me, and confused with why on earth i do some of the things i do, and why i act the way i do.

cheers.