just 5 minutes...

~~~

Yellowcard - Only One

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

~~~

if u could just give me 5 minutes, i'd be a happy man. i don't want to guess what you're thinking anymore, that usually doesn't go well for me. i just need to talk to you... if only u'd talk to me. life's just peachy.

to what extent...

should i have been there this afternoon? how much should i be there now? the way you're reacting to me just makes it harder for me to decide lah... but then again maybe this was part of your plan... oh well...

congrats to cheryl, huishan, koon and xuanrui on your bronzes. xr not bad man... just recovered from a broken collar bone and can still get medal hahaha to shufang... don't feel so bad ok? this was your 1st competition, and the pressure could've been too much for you to handle, i don't know, but i just hope u don't beat yourself up too much over it ok? :) just improve in time for nationals, and treat this as a learning experience. i'm sure all of you will improve in time for nationals.

suddenly thinking of campcraft comp in 2002. the thrice a week trg we had during the school holz, multiple blisters and rope burns under the sun. number of lashings tied, number of tent guy loops tightened after shouting out "GLENN!", all the bloody circuit training we did around the pavilion area, how bare the grass looked after we were done with it, and the number of holes in the ground. the amount of sweat that had seeped into the soil... and in the end we didn't even make it to the finals. was it 14th? somehow can't really remember... to think that was about 3 years ago around this period. and to think joshua and tze wei were both there as well, and now we're classmates! hahaha ahhhh when u look back u'll see how fun it was. don't worry :)life's just peachy.

hmmm...

~~~

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada
one morning with a
purse
full of money. She wanted to open a savings
account and insisted on talking to the president of
the Bank
because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client
is always
right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's
office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much
she wanted to deposit.
She
placed her purse on his desk and replied,
"$165,000". The president was curious and asked
her how she had been
able
to save so much money. The elderly woman
replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What
kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you
$25,000 that your
testicles are
square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman
that it was
impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked
at
the
president and said, "Would you like to take my
bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you
$25,000 that my
testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given
the amount of money
involved, if you don't mind I would like to come
back at 10 o'clock
tomorrow
morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank
confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous
about the bet
and spent a long time in front of the mirror
examining his
testicles, turning them this way and that, checking
them over
again and again until he was positive that no one
could
consider his testicles as square and reassuring
himself that there
was no
way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly
woman
arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and
acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day
before that the
president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same
as the one
made the day before. Then the elderly woman
asked him to
drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer
could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see
better and
asked the president if she could touch them. "Of
course", said the
president. "Given the amount of money involved,
you
should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile.
Suddenly the
president noticed that the lawyer was banging his
head against
the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was
doing that
and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet
him $100,000 that
around
10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the
balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

~~~

girls out there reading this... hope u don't get any funny ideas hahaha. back to waves and superposition then. life's just peachy!

fear leads to anger...

i'm afraid that i'm losing you... losing touch with you... no idea what's going on anymore... don't know how you're feeling anymore. whether you're sick, how tired you are, how much shit you're going through... all i can do is presume. i'm still intent on keeping my promise, but then again i realise that you never made the same promise to me. so does it still hold? i really hope so... coz i really still wanna be your friend, and not another person i walk past in school without even acknowledging. i still wanna be with you... life's just peachy.

shedding...

was peeling my skin off the whole time i was at night study tonight. quite yucky actually... got a smooth feeling on my back as if the skin on my back has been peeled off. eh wait it has... oh well. so yeah my back is peeling now, really badly. face has stopped peeling (that was fast indeed, just 2 days) actually front also peeling a bit. hmmmm...

tmr no school. sleep in. get to school arnd 3 to 4. mug till maybe 6? night study from 7 to 10 after that. hope it's productive. if i'm in the library i guess i should be ok lah. at my usual place should be ok. been choosing to sit alone instead of with my classmates during the past few night studys. just hope they don't see anything bad about it. right now i'm doing what i need to do. but then again this is the real me lah... a tad bit anti-social as well. i'll say hi and stuff, but u don't talk to me i won't really talk to u. i guess this is the true-er me that's being exposed nowadays.

been thinking about what i need to do lah. don't know how much longer i can hold on before i just snap lah... i'm teethering on the edge liao, clinging on with my fingertips, hoping that you'll reach out your hand and save me. still waiting for the day when it happens. oh look another big piece of skin... life's just peachy.