from the book tt xin, gc, neo and shaun got for me for my birthday...

"There is one longing - almost as deep, as imperious as the desire for food or sleep. It is what Freud calls desire to be great. It is what Dewey calls the desire to be important."

from shaun's blog...

"chin up! back straight! live strong!!"

what's done is done...

badmintonnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

yes i'll be playing badminton for PE for 4 weeks!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA YES YES YES!!! damn long never play badminton liaoz sia. today played for like an hour, seemed like so much less. miss the feeling of holding the racket and swinging it real hard at a sad little piece of cork with feathers stuck to it. but who cares!!! i felt good finally playing it again!!! hahaha i guess i still prefer badminton to volleyball. afterall i have been playing it since i was in primary school :p but i really pity the shuttlecock lah... at the receiving end of all my stress, coz i really swung today when i had the chance to hahaha oh yes speaking of swing... the school rackets really sucks lah. i mean the grip is like so... gripless!!! derek and vig both sent the racket flying out of their hands when they swung too hard and the rackets just flew out of their hands!!! useless crap sia. probably got it at some 1.99 shop, where the stuff there all fails QC hahaha oh well... badmintonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

what's done is done...

history repeats itself...

and i hate this bloody feeling. why must it be me twice... both have the same damn surname and both come from the same damn school!!! WTF?!?!!? ok maybe tt's just pure coincidence, but i've got more to bitch about this time around. hmmm... about the bitching... i never ever gossiped or bitched in my entire sji life, and here i am, going on and on since i entered cj. it's just not the bloody same anymore lah. everything in my life has changed. and i mean everything. if someone out there can find me something that hasn't changed in my life over the past 1.5 years please tell me... and i don't mean things like my address and phone number please.

i've still yet to find my outlet. everytime i see you i feel angry yet again. but somehow i can't bring myself to be angry at you for extended periods of time. but... my blood just boils when i see you and think. maybe this is all just a misunderstanding... but i really feel like smashing something. as in hold it in my left hand, clench my right fist damn hard, and smash the hell out of it. that's what i really feel like doing now. and pillows won't work, coz they're too damn soft. still don't know what to do, still don't know what you're thinking, still don't know when this is going to end.

i'm so tired... of everything. well at least the ONE good thing i can take out of these past few days is that the F1 season this time around should be quite interesting. red or blue? i'm feeling both red and blue...

what's done is done...

one step too far...

had 4x100 heats at sji today. i guess i ran ok... but then again i have never run a competitive race like this before so... oh well. when i passed the baton to shawn, i stuck my right foot too far forward, and i caught shawn's. that sent him flying. now he's got skin torn off in a not so nice position, and it's bound to hurt like hell. in the end clocked a time of 54.95. actually it's not bad considering shawn fell down. but i can't help but think that we could've clocked 51s, maybe even 50 if shawn hadn't fallen down. sorry guys :(

what's done is done...

suddenly i realise, that all i ever wanted to do was to just sit beside you and fall asleep as i watched you sleep...

what's done is done...